My Journey: Finding God’s Refuge During Wartime

Living and serving in a foreign land involves adjusting to new cultures, languages, and realities. Over my thirty years as a missionary, I’ve faced these challenges in multiple countries and languages. Yet, none of my experiences could have prepared me for the realities of war—its impact on life, ministry, and faith. 

I had lived in Ukraine full time for thirteen years when the initial invasion occurred in 2014. The conflict was terrifying but distant from me; over time, I learned to navigate the stress of the threat of violence and the uncertainty that seemed to linger everywhere. But everything changed on February 23, 2022, with the full-scale invasion. Ukraine entered a dark chapter with an unknowable future, and so did I.

I spent the first few months of war in the United States. While physically “safe,” my heart remained with Ukraine. I wanted to be with the INSTE community, neighbors, and other loved ones who had become my family, not just because of my love and concern for them but because there is power in presence; there is a powerful ministry of simply being with others in their suffering. Just as God promises in Psalm 91:15 (NIV), “I will be with him in trouble,” I felt compelled to personify that presence for Ukrainians.

Returning to Ukraine in October 2022 meant facing new unsettling realities. Air raid sirens, missile strikes, and weaponized drones are part of daily life. Psalm 91:5 promises, “You will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day,” yet living this truth is challenging. In 2024, attack drones or missiles filled Ukrainian skies every single day and night. Fear is a natural response to danger, yet courage is trusting God despite fear. For me, each step forward, even with a lump in my throat, is an act of faith.

Psalm 91’s promise that God is “with us in trouble” anchors me, helping reconcile the tension between “not fearing” and “doing things afraid.” Fear doesn’t disqualify us from obedience; it’s often the very place where we find God’s will and experience His presence in profound ways.

My main ministry has always been equipping leaders through INSTE Global Bible College, but my focus has shifted during the war. In this season the Lord has allowed me to minister to humanitarian needs of Ukrainians with the help of Open Bible sponsors and a wide network of friends and ministry partners. For independent teen orphans, we’ve provided power banks and lamps for long nights without electricity.

Other times, we’ve purchased medicine for sick neighbors and helped seniors pay for medical procedures. For those along the frontlines, we’ve sent financial aid, clothing, and prayers. We have also translated, printed, and distributed thousands of booklets that teach how to deal with PTSD.

While others deliver large-scale humanitarian aid, my role is one of smaller, personal acts of kindness. In the market, I look for “Holy Spirit nudges” and find struggling grandmothers to bless with money for food, blessing them and reminding them that God sees their need. Each of these actions, though small, serves as a tangible reminder of God’s love and light in dark times.

The human cost of war is staggering. Food insecurity, disrupted education systems, and loss of electricity are all daily problems. Families have been displaced and torn apart, some with children attending school in other countries, others with family members on the frontlines, missing in action, prisoners of war, or buried in a grave. Communities have been shattered and the trajectory of so many lives forever altered. Over the years we have had thousands of INSTE students throughout Ukraine; many of their lives have been dramatically changed by this war. 

Despite this, I witness incredible resilience in the defenders who are outnumbered and outgunned on the front lines, the mothers holding families together, and the children navigating unimaginable loss, including a normal childhood. Their resilience reflects the truth that God has not abandoned them. In their stories, I see glimmers of hope – reminders that even in the darkest times, Light shines. Their resilience inspires me.

It has been difficult to deal with the capture of my godson, Max, a nineteen-year-old soldier, by enemy forces. The pain of not knowing his fate is immense. We pray for his soul. Every Ukrainian has their “Max,” someone whose unknown future brings unbearable heartache. 

As I reflect on these years of war, I’m reminded of how deeply it has reshaped my life, my understanding of compassion, and my faith. War has tested me in ways I never expected, but it has also deepened my faith.

Psalm 91 continues to be a comfort: not a promise of an easy way, but of God’s presence. It is in His refuge that I find strength to minister and to believe for His promises. And it is there, even in wartime, that I have found God’s refuge.

About the Author

Tammy Swailes

Tammy Swailes is passionate about cross-cultural Christian education, so working with INSTE Bible College to disciple and equip leaders throughout Europe and beyond is a great fit! Tammy has lived in Europe since 1999 – first in Hungary and now Ukraine. Before that, she was in Japan, as well as Spokane, Washington. She now serves as INSTE regional director in Europe, assisting INSTE programs in five languages. Tammy has her undergraduate degrees in both Missions and Christian Education, and a MA in Intercultural Studies. Photography, good coffee, multi-cultural experiences, and the family’s Yorkie are some of Tammy’s favorite things.