Burden Bearing in the Church: How We Can Do It Better 

When my children were young, God asked me if I trusted Him with their testimonies. Having worked as a church counselor, I wish my immediate answer was “Of course, Lord!” But instead, my most honest answer was “No! I see what you do with people’s testimonies!” I knew that to have a testimony of God’s work in their lives, people had to first go through pain and turmoil. Allowing my children the pain necessary for a testimony was one of my biggest fears. It wasn’t until nearly fifteen years later that I was able to humbly change my answer.  

I can recount hundreds of stories of God’s faithfulness to bring beauty from ashes as He promises in Isaiah: “To bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair” (61:3). That’s easily the most rewarding part of working for Jesus (whether in my role as counselor, disciple-maker, or friend). When someone has experienced healing from their trauma, restoration in a relationship, or forgiveness for themselves and others, I have taken a front row seat to the beauty of a testimony rising out of the ashes of life’s pain. These are the stories I keep tucked away in my heart for building hope when it seems all hope is lost. When life’s hardships make it easier to identify with Job’s despair than with Paul’s rejoicing, I need those stories of redemption to give me hope – to give others hope.  

It was when I had to find some hope to offer my daughter as she faced a devastating mental health diagnosis that my theology and mental health practice had a head-on collision in my very own home. God lovingly asked me again, as He has throughout the years, if I trusted Him with my children’s testimonies. I would be lying if I said my answer didn’t require both deep digging and anguished prayer. My hope was only in Him; I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that God didn’t bring her this disease or its pain. That was part of the fall of man and its effects on creation – an enemy scheme.​ ​God didn’t promise my daughter wouldn’t face pain, but He did promise that when life brought it, He would use it for her good. He will shine His light in her darkness, use her healing to repair the breaches in others’ lives – all for His glory. I can finally wholeheartedly say that I do trust God with her testimony.  

It is in these dark and scary places that the church often misses the mark​. ​We aren’t well-equipped to bear one another’s burdens. We subconsciously worry that the dark places in others might consume us too. We try throwing scripture at pain from a distance, bandaging gaping wounds with platitudes. Burdens can’t be carried from an emotional distance.  

Remember the places where the church has best served you in your brokenness. I think you will find that it was in relationship, when someone sat with you in your pain, either in silence or humbly asking questions rather than preaching or talking about their own unresolved pain. The only time Job’s comforters were doing a good job is when they sat silently in the ash heap with him. Sometimes being a silent witness in other’s suffering is the most sacred thing you can do. This simply cannot be done in the few minutes of an altar call or from an emotional distance. It’s not until we’ve proven we are driven by love and grace, without an agenda for behavioral change, that we will be trusted with the most imprisoning parts of a person’s story.

I’ll let you in on a secret: you don’t have to be the pastor or church counselor to help people walk in emotional and spiritual health​. ​Most of the counseling I’ve done has been discipleship – teaching people the ”how-to’s” of the Bible: how to forgive, how to not be anxious for anything, how to break the power of lust, how to guard your heart in very practical, boots-on-the-ground ways. And yet, if you don’t understand how to apply biblical principles to your own emotional health, you won’t be comfortable in the dark and scary places of others’ struggles. Matthew Henry’s commentary on Galatians 6 says it well: “The better we know our own hearts and ways, the less shall we despise others, and the more be disposed to help them under infirmities and afflictions.” If you aren’t sure how to help others in their pain, being a silent, praying witness is a great place to start. In that silent place, collect the promises of God from scripture. Get to know His character and His love for His people. When you yourself can trust God’s unfailing goodness, you will be able to pass it on to others. Isaiah and Ephesians are great places to start this treasure hunt.  

We need to become a people that know how to get our hands dirty and apply the mud of scripture to the eyes of each other’s hearts in a way that invites restoration. We need to know where to find the keys that set the prisoners free. As individuals and as church bodies, we can help others apply the “how to’s” of scripture. I LOVE when churches teach Financial Peace along with praying for financial breakthrough. I LOVE when churches have recovery programs that walk spiritual captives through steps of freedom. I LOVE when churches teach boundaries and healthy relationship skills. I LOVE when churches have connections with community health programs that treat the whole triune person: mind, spirit, and body. I don’t believe medication minimizes one’s faith; oftentimes, it gives a person the boost they need to come to the starting line of the race we’re all trying to run for the kingdom. It can be a necessary tool in applying scripture to their lives.  

We all know that hurt people hurt people, but what’s even more powerful is the mustard seed growth of watching healed people heal people. A person who has learned to apply the gospel of Jesus to their own dark and scary places is the person who is best able to shine His light for another. When it comes to the integration of mental health and spiritual health in the Church, that is the aspect which excites me more than anything. 

About the Author

Anne Beem

Anne Beem is a Eugene Bible College alumnus living outside of San Antonio, Texas, with her husband Chuck and their three daughters. She has spent much of her counseling career starting counseling ministries in churches and consulting with pastors in providing soul care to their church members. She is currently an adjunct psychology professor at George Fox University and provides counseling services to ministers and their family members. Anne’s favorite hobbies include friend collecting, traveling, and reading all of the books.