Five Ways to Protect Your Peace This Holiday Season

The holidays can elicit a variety of emotions – ranging from excited anticipation and joy to feelings of overwhelming stress and, at times, downright dread. How do we preserve our peace and emotional health this holiday season, while also keeping our hearts centered on Christ?

From my earliest memories, I have loved all things holiday: the gathering together of family and friends, the food shared around the table, the decorations, the smell of apple crisp baking in the oven and cider simmering, familiar traditions, and all the moments in between. And we mustn’t forget the beloved classics A Charlie Brown Christmas and my personal favorite, It’s a Wonderful Life.

It is not just one thing; rather, it is the culmination of many little and big things that have made the holidays so memorable.

One particularly special tradition in our household is hosting Thanksgiving and inviting each of our families to join. Over the years, we have had fun making this day our own, rarely making turkey and opting for roast beef instead. (I know; crazy, right?)

But as much as I love this time of year, I am not naive about the tension that exists between my expectations of what the holidays should look like and what they oftentimes end up becoming. (Does anyone else’s family end up sharing a stomach bug right as the holiday season is in full swing?) I also can’t help but notice how the days between Thanksgiving and Christmas often become a blur as we move from one activity to the next. I remember one specific Christmas evening several years ago telling my husband as we fell into bed, “I am so glad Christmas is over.” Yikes! I don’t think this was the “good news of great joy” the angel of the Lord had in mind when he revealed the Messiah had been born.

Sadly, the joy and wonder of the season can quickly get lost as we navigate the challenges the holidays can bring: things like overfilled schedules, additional calendar commitments, complex family dynamics, anxiety, heightened expectations (by others and ourselves), grief and loss, and feelings of profound loneliness, just to name a few. These challenges, compounded with juggling the demands of everyday life, can quickly steal our peace and emotional health if we are not careful.

It’s interesting that in Luke 2:13-14, the announcement of the Savior’s birth to the shepherds was also attached to a pronouncement of peace:

Suddenly, the angel was joined by a vast host of others—the armies of heaven—praising God and saying,
“Glory to God in highest heaven, and peace on earth to those with whom God is pleased” (NLT).

Peace of heart and mind is available, but we must contend for it. Though not an exhaustive list, here are a few practical things we can do to protect our peace this holiday season:

1. 1. Focus on those things that matter most.
   1. We can be so easily swept up in the hustle and bustle of the holidays that we lose sight of what this season represents. The gatherings, meals, festivities, gift-giving, and decorations are merely delightful “extras.” What matters most are the people in our lives and the moments we will share together. Lord, help us not to miss those who are right in front of us. These are the gifts that will truly remain.
2. 2. Keep expectations realistic.
   1. Lay aside any need to create the “perfect” holiday or to please everyone. I need to remind myself of this often, as my perfectionist and people-pleasing tendencies can become magnified over the holidays if I am not mindful. (This is what leads to my making five desserts when two are completely sufficient—haha!) Be okay with keeping things simple this year. A kind “no” might be in order. What is realistic for you and your family? If it’s not doable (due to practical, financial, or time constraints), then let it go. It really will be okay!
3. 3. Commit to being fully present.
   1. It’s hard to be fully present when our pace outmatches our capacity. What’s one thing you can do each day to allow yourself time to pause, breathe, and recenter your heart around Christ? For me, I need time each day for silence and solitude. This helps me set aside the distractions of the day and reorients my heart back to the heart of the Father.
4. 4. Give yourself permission to grieve.
   1. Grief and joy can coexist. Allow yourself to feel both. If the holidays stir up feelings of sadness or loss, make space to process these emotions. It’s okay to acknowledge the holidays might feel different or hard this year. Find a trusted friend you can talk to.
5. 5. Determine to love well.
   1. The holidays can bring out the best—and, sadly, the worst—in people, as emotions tend to run high. Regardless of how those around us are behaving, we can only control our own actions and attitudes. Let’s keep love as our highest aim. Will our lives reflect the true spirit of the season—joy, goodwill, generosity, kindness, patience, and the heart of Christ?

May you have a blessed and peaceful holiday season, making memories and hopefully enjoying lots of apple crisp (topped with ice cream, of course).

About the Author

Jessica Sanford currently serves as discipleship leader at Fort DSM Open Bible Church in Des Moines, Iowa. As a mentor, coach, and friend, she is deeply passionate about coming alongside individuals on their spiritual and emotional journeys toward healing and wholeness in Christ. She also delights in being Matt’s wife and a mom to two adult children and a new daughter-in-law. Her greatest joy, however, is found in being God’s beloved daughter, fully cherished and fully known.