Jesus gave us very specific instructions for how to treat others. In John 13:34 He said to love each other as He loved us. What does love mean? 1 Corinthians 13:4-5 (NLT) says, \u201cLove is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged.\u201d Responding this way is not easy, but Jesus is very clear. Regardless of the situation or how the other people involved are reacting, our task as followers of Christ is to respond in love. That might mean you need to take some time to process and let your emotions calm down, but that\u2019s much better than lashing out and regretting your response later. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
KNOW YOUR BUTTONS<\/strong> <\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n Because other people do. Just because you want to respond well doesn\u2019t mean the person you\u2019re with in the situation does. It may be their goal to get you to fly off the handle. As followers of Jesus, how we respond isn\u2019t determined by how we\u2019re treated. Does that mean we\u2019re doormats for people to walk all over? No. There is a way to take a stance and remain respectful, but you won\u2019t have a chance to respond that way if you lash out uncontrollably because someone knows what buttons to push to make you angry, impatient, or frustrated. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Start paying attention to what makes your heart race. Reach out to someone you trust and ask for their help in determining when you\u2019re most likely to respond in an out-of-control manner. It\u2019s better to know now because it\u2019s almost impossible to be in control if you are not prepared. <\/p>\n\n\n\n CHECK YOUR EGO<\/strong> <\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n Your ego is like that show you wouldn\u2019t want people to know you watch. Secretly, we want to be recognized for what we\u2019re good at; we want to be appreciated for the things we do; we want to stand strong on principle. There\u2019s nothing wrong with having an ego; there is something wrong with letting your ego control you. <\/p>\n\n\n\n This past year brought to light many situations and opinions that the Christian community decided we should fight about in front of the world. John 13:35 says, \u201cYour love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.\u201d Every day you could open a social media app and watch as Christians lashed out at each other for the sake of having the right opinion. Other than ego, what purpose does that serve? Does God need us to defend Him? <\/p>\n\n\n\n Similarly, in an environment where you\u2019re debating important issues with anyone, your stance, opinion, or response should be given with patience, peace, and understanding. Driven by ego, we will only drive others away. <\/p>\n\n\n\n DECIDE EVERYONE IS WORTH LISTENING TO<\/strong> <\/strong> <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n Sometimes I tend to discredit others who have a different perspective than I do and tune them out. It\u2019s not something I\u2019m proud of, but it is something I need to be aware of. In a situation where emotions are running high, one of the best things you can do to stay in the moment is to really focus on what is being said regardless of who\u2019s saying it. If you selectively tune out one person\u2019s perspective or get lost in your own thoughts, you\u2019ll miss out on what could be a unifying thought or opinion. <\/p>\n\n\n\n I\u2019ve learned that my ability to tell the future is not so great. The actual manifestation of a fake conversation I\u2019ve had in my head between me and another person has rarely happened the way I scripted it. By assuming that person won\u2019t have anything good to say because of something they said or did in the past, I\u2019m projecting a false future for them. That\u2019s not only unfair, it\u2019s highly disrespectful. Actively listening, taking notes, and pausing to ask clarifying questions are secrets to remaining in a state of curiosity and responding confidently. <\/p>\n\n\n\n RESPOND WITH RESPECT<\/strong> <\/strong> <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n It\u2019s very easy to yell at someone who is yelling at you or to respond sarcastically when you\u2019re being pandered to. And there\u2019s nothing better than that mic drop moment when you completely silence the opposing argument. But we\u2019re not held accountable for how good we make ourselves feel. As Christians we answer to a higher authority who we believe created us all as His sons and daughters. <\/p>\n\n\n\n We are no better than anyone; we are equals. When discussing a topic you\u2019re passionate about, talking down to the other person, acting rude, or being offensive are not options. That is not how we are called to treat others regardless of their argument against us. Responding respectfully means looking the other person in the eye, not interrupting them, being polite, and not embarrassing them even if they\u2019re wrong. It\u2019s the right thing to do, and it will go a long way in showing who you are under pressure. <\/p>\n\n\n\n If you want to have influence over the course of your life, playing the long game is a smart strategy. Everyone you \u201cspar with\u201d knows someone you may connect with in your future; your reputation will precede you. Being a person who can stay cool in the most difficult situations is a badge you can proudly wear in any context you find yourself in. But it\u2019s more than that. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Matthew 5:43-48 tells us why: \u201cYou have heard the law that says, \u2018Love your neighbor\u2019 and hate your enemy. But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you! In that way, you will be acting as true children of your Father in heaven. For he gives his sunlight to both the evil and the good, and he sends rain on the just and the unjust alike. If you love only those who love you, what reward is there for that? Even corrupt tax collectors do that much. If you are kind only to your friends, how are you different from anyone else? Even pagans do that. But you are to be perfect, even as your Father in heaven is perfect.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n We are set apart to be different from this world, and we need to act like it. Nobody said it would be easy, but it will be worth it! <\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n\n\n\n Ryan Weldon currently works bi-vocationally as the Church Operations and Organizational Leadership Pastor at Journey Church in Urbandale, Iowa, and a Client Communication and Education Strategist for a local digital marketing and website development agency. Ryan also serves as an elected member of his local school board and holds a Bachelor’s Degree in Christian Leadership and Management from Liberty University. He and his wife have been married for sixteen years and enjoy raising their four young children ages nine, five, four, and one.<\/em><\/em> <\/em><\/strong><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" By Ryan Weldon My first experience with a \u201close-lose\u201d decision was in 2020 when local districts were considering a return to school in the fall. Being a member of the local school board meant that six other board members and I would be making the decision about if and\/or how over 13,000 students and staff members could be kept safe at school in the middle of a pandemic. Our […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":32,"featured_media":17406,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_coblocks_attr":"","_coblocks_dimensions":"","_coblocks_responsive_height":"","_coblocks_accordion_ie_support":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[99,150],"class_list":["post-15705","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-five-things","tag-five-things","tag-jun21"],"yoast_head":"\nAbout the Author<\/h2>\n\n\n\n\n\n
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