{"id":18115,"date":"2022-01-03T07:58:07","date_gmt":"2022-01-03T12:58:07","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/openbiblemessage.org\/?p=18115"},"modified":"2022-01-03T09:07:16","modified_gmt":"2022-01-03T14:07:16","slug":"five-ways-to-address-sex-and-sexuality-with-your-kids","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/openbiblemessage.org\/es\/2022\/01\/five-ways-to-address-sex-and-sexuality-with-your-kids\/","title":{"rendered":"Five Ways to Address Sex and Sexuality with Your Kids"},"content":{"rendered":"

By Natalie Burchit<\/h2>\n\n\n\n\n\n

Teens do not want to hear or talk about sex with their parents. It\u2019s embarrassing and, let\u2019s be real, gross. I say this in jest as my young adult children roll their eyes and say, \u201cOf course you\u2019re writing an article about sex.\u201d But here\u2019s the reality: they will talk about it with someone, and it needs to be you.   <\/p>\n\n\n\n

  1. Talk Early and Talk Often<\/strong><\/li><\/ol>\n\n\n\n

    Start talking about sex and sexuality when your kids are young. The world will have its pull, but if you have laid a clear foundation, its influence will be a lot less enticing. When kids are young, use the real names for body parts and talk about how God designed boys and girls to be different. We liked to talk about the \u201cswimsuit zones.\u201d If it\u2019s covered by a swimsuit, it\u2019s meant to be private for only mom, dad, doctor, etc. to see and care for. Take away the taboo and celebrate the amazing bodies God blessed us with. This takes away the stigma and lays a foundation for a healthy body image and good conversation around sexuality.   <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    1. Be Honest<\/strong><\/li><\/ol>\n\n\n\n

      Wow, this is a tough one. When your kids start asking questions and it feels all too soon, be honest. When your teens want to know about the mistakes you\u2019ve made and the consequences, be honest. They will respect you and trust you. The level of honesty is measured by their age and maturity. If your four-year-old asks, \u201cWhere did I come from?\u201d they may not be asking about the birds and the bees. They might just want to know if they were born in Bentonville, Arkansas, or somewhere else because their new friend at school is from Toledo, Ohio. Teens may ask some interesting questions that make us just as uncomfortable as they are, but if you\u2019ve shown them that you will always answer honestly and without mocking them, they will continue to ask you.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

      1. Be Proactive<\/strong><\/li><\/ol>\n\n\n\n

        The internet, social media, and gaming are all areas where kids have an open door to see things that we wouldn\u2019t want them to see. Should we throw it all out and isolate our children from the culture? Probably not, but we can be proactive in how we monitor their exposure. There are great parental control programs that help filter out inappropriate content. Limit screen time and keep all screen time \u201cpublic\u201d (such as the living room or kitchen). No TVs, phones, tablets, or gaming systems in the bedroom or a room with a closed door. It\u2019s okay to buck the trend and insist that your children don\u2019t need screens. Check out the great resources at ScreenStrong.org. 

        When my oldest was a preteen, he loved researching different countries to explore their cultures, food, people, etc. Some of the filters we had in place limited what he could find out, and in frustration, he wondered why he couldn\u2019t have free reign of the internet. I told him, \u201cThe restrictions are there to protect you, and in time, you can have more freedoms. I would never take you (my ten-year-old) to Beijing, China, drop you off in the middle of the city and wish you good luck. You don\u2019t have the ability to navigate the city and stay safe. The internet is \u201cBeijing,\u201d and you\u2019re not ready to go by yourself.\u201d   

        This explanation satisfied him for a few more years and painted a picture for him that helped him understand why we had restrictions.   <\/p>\n\n\n\n

        1. Listen<\/strong><\/li><\/ol>\n\n\n\n

          Listen more than you talk. Yes, I started with \u201ctalk early and often,\u201d but ultimately this is an opportunity to listen to your kids. Listen to their frustrations that \u201call their friends\u201d have tablets or computers in their rooms and acknowledge that it must be difficult to be the odd man out. Our daughter had an encounter with a stranger on the internet that scared us all. We took her phone away for several weeks, and during that time her grades improved, her self-esteem improved, and she thanked us. She even voluntarily extended her time without her phone. Without the distraction and weight of this six-ounce object, she could see what a waste of time it had been. And instead of us all being head down in our devices, she talked, and we listened. I wish I could say we didn\u2019t too quickly return to our old ways, but that lesson stuck with us.   

          Listen to their questions and remember that there\u2019s a lot of misinformation passed among teens and preteens. Ask them open-ended questions to get them talking, such as \u201cHow did you feel when your friend wanted to look at something we have said not to look at?\u201d \u201cTell me some ways you can say no to your friends if they want you to do something we\u2019ve said no to?\u201d If (more likely when) your kids are caught in something that you\u2019ve restricted, take time to listen to how they got there and how it made them feel. If you respond with anger or disgust, it will shut down the opportunity to engage them and build trust around the topic of sex.   <\/p>\n\n\n\n

          1. Pray<\/strong><\/li><\/ol>\n\n\n\n

            This is clearly the most important. Pray. Pray for wisdom. James 1:5 (NASB) says, \u201cIf any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously.\u201d Pray for your children to have wisdom about sex and sexuality. Pray for your patience and love towards your children and frankly yourself through this process. Pray for forgiveness when you mess up because you will. And ask your kids to forgive you as well. This is a tough topic to navigate, but we as believers have an opportunity to handle it better than we have.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            About the Author<\/h2>\n\n\n\n\n\n
            \"Natalie<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

            Natalie Burchit<\/strong> is a wife to one incredible husband, Bill, and mom to three amazing kids. She loves writing and speaking, encouraging God\u2019s people to fully embrace the masterpiece He is creating in them. The Burchits have served in full-time ministry for over twenty years and have a heart for God\u2019s church.\u202f  <\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

            By Natalie Burchit Teens do not want to hear or talk about sex with their parents. It\u2019s embarrassing and, let\u2019s be real, gross. I say this in jest as my young adult children roll their eyes and say, \u201cOf course you\u2019re writing an article about sex.\u201d But here\u2019s the reality: they will talk about it with […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":32,"featured_media":18117,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_coblocks_attr":"","_coblocks_dimensions":"","_coblocks_responsive_height":"","_coblocks_accordion_ie_support":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[99,328],"class_list":["post-18115","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-five-things","tag-five-things","tag-jan22"],"yoast_head":"\nFive Ways to Address Sex and Sexuality with Your Kids - Message of the Open Bible<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/openbiblemessage.org\/es\/2022\/01\/five-ways-to-address-sex-and-sexuality-with-your-kids\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"es_MX\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Five Ways to Address Sex and Sexuality with Your Kids - Message of the Open Bible\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"By Natalie Burchit Teens do not want to hear or talk about sex with their parents. 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