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President's Perspective

Are You Expecting Too Much from Your Spouse?

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By Randall Bach

It is amusing to watch the reaction of many people when they learn that Barbara and I have been married for 50 years. They look at us with wonderment as if they were observing the last of a virtually extinct species. We aren’t nearly as impressed with ourselves. We realize we are not perfect and have discovered that marriage takes a lot of work. We are thankful for God’s grace and each other’s grace in our lives and marriage.

My parents had been married for 65 years when my mother was the first to die. We know other couples who have been married for more years than that. People do have lifelong marriages! While we never presume upon life, we eagerly look forward to celebrating our Golden Anniversary. 

When we recited those marriage vows that included “til death do us part,” we did not do so flippantly. There was going to be no looking back. Our lives would be cemented together as one from that day forward, not because we were obligated to do so but because our vows were rooted in our souls, founded on love, intertwined with love for and commitment to God – not to be later doubted or fretted over in fear we made a mistake. No, we were all in. And we still are. No looking back with regret. Only looking forward with anticipation.

So what is the key to establishing a marriage for life? Never having a disagreement or argument! Hopefully, when you read that sentence you immediately recognized it as facetious. Barbara and I chuckle and roll our eyes about a “big” argument we had when we were newly married. I angered her, and she threw the Hostess Ding Dong that was in her hand at me. In anger, I retaliated by throwing one back at her. We both missed. As one plastered Ding Dong slid down the wall leaving a squiggly chocolate trail and the other did the same on a kitchen cabinet, we began laughing at the silliness of what we had just done (as well as the financial cost of assassinating two Ding Dongs!). I am happy to report we have not repeated that food fight. 

No, two individuals cannot dare to unite their lives as one without some friction between entirely different personalities and backgrounds. Dying to self does not come easily. In honor preferring one another (Romans 12:10) runs counter to our base natures if they are not redemptively renewed each day. Differences and arguments are going to happen, and we need to be able to keep them in perspective, offering grace to each other instead of allowing the disagreements to escalate with long-term ramifications.

I believe prospects for long and blessed marriages are profoundly influenced by expectations. There are some expectations of a marriage that are foundational and appropriate and if not honored will undermine or destroy a marriage.

Realistic Expectations:

  • FAITHFULNESS. No excuses about this one. Fidelity is foundational and indispensable to trust, and when one or both people in a marriage do not trust each other it is like sepsis, a toxic blood infection that seeks to conquer the entire body. It is a realistic expectation that your spouse will be faithful to you.
  • LOVE. A marriage without love is but a living arrangement. Here today and gone tomorrow and on to the next arrangement. However, love must be understood as being much more and much deeper than emotion. Emotion depends on the day. (“She loves me, she loves me not.”) Love involves resolve that transcends feelings.
  • TRUTHFULNESS. A marriage cannot thrive when there is doubt about a spouse’s integrity and believability. A lack of truthfulness undermines trust and willingness to stand with each other in difficult times and situations. “Do I believe him/her?” should never be part of a marriage. Lack of truthfulness corrodes marriage at its core.
  • COMMITMENT. “Come what may, including tragedies, disappointments, failures, or wealth, I am with you. You can count on me. I will be there with you and for you, in the best and worst of times.” Commitment means not looking elsewhere for relational or sexual fulfillment. Commitment represents backbone in following through.
  • GOD-CENTERED SPOUSE. When God is at the center of a marriage, it means both the husband and wife are devoted to the Lord and make relationship with Him priority one, even before their spouse. This priority enriches and deepens the relationship with your spouse! There is no substitute for asking and allowing God to be part of a marriage. Passionately activating and applying truths and principles from God’s Word provides a firm foundation for a meaningful and mutually fulfilling marriage.

When one of those realistic expectations is violated, it tears at or destroys the others. Each realistic expectation leans upon the others. Can marriages survive a breakdown in realistic expectations? Yes, when repentance, forgiveness, and demonstration of faithful commitment to those expectations are clear, convincing, and lasting. Without those steps, however, a marriage cannot withstand having its foundation of realistic expectations violated and destroyed.

Unrealistic marital expectations chip away at a marriage’s foundation. They siphon energy, love, and joy by imposing demands that are unlikely to be met. Unrealistic expectations skew and confuse perspective, the ability to evaluate frustrations in the context of a big picture. There are probably many unrealistic expectations that negatively impact marriages. I will just focus on three.

Unrealistic Expectations:

  • He/she will change into the person I desire. This unrealistic expectation has killed many marriages. Although both spouses should grow and mature, the personality traits you see at the beginning are imprinted. I knew one of Barbara’s characteristics was a healthy enjoyment of interactive attention. In contrast, I do not desire attention and can become uncomfortable with very much of it. For years I thought my trait was mature and hers was immature, and I hoped she would grow out of her need for attention. It was at an eye-opening marriage weekend event that I learned about the individual needs every spouse has and that those needs should be celebrated instead of interpreted as something to change. It was as if a blindfold dropped from my eyes! Now Barbara’s natural need for attention is something I love and enjoy about her. It is part of what makes her delightful to me, and I love looking for ways to fulfill her need. She did not need to change who she is; I needed to embrace who she is! Instead of trying to change your spouse, work at loving and understanding him or her. You might even see some change as a result!
  • He/she will meet all my needs. All spouses should dedicate themselves to meeting needs of their spouses, but few will be completely successful. If you focus on the ten percent of your needs that your spouse fails to meet, you will never appreciate and love the ninety percent they succeed in meeting. No human, including your spouse, can meet all your needs. Remember, though, that God can minister to your deepest needs. A central mission of marriage is changing the usual human focus from meeting my needs first to meeting my spouse’s needs first. Understanding and dedicating yourself to that mission will revolutionize a marriage.
  • He/she will be a perfect parent. Are you? I have never understood how a small child knows how to recognize differences between parents and will work to exploit those differences. If parents do not counter this type of behavior, they will encourage the child to become even more skilled in exploitation. Most parents start out parenting like they were parented, for good or bad, and have to learn about good parenting. That is vitally important homework! Share in that resolve and joy of discovery together.

What a splendid idea God had when He created marriage! Men and women are innately attracted to each other. This is true in every culture around the world. However, there is something ennobling, health-producing, uplifting, and holy when a man and woman consecrate themselves to God and each other in marriage. In the natural, marriage is a ridiculous proposition: two entirely different personalities constantly living together in commitment to each other, sacrificing together, raising a family together, tackling life together, and growing old together, all held together by the bond of heaven-blessed love. That is a journey! Barbara and I signed up for the ridiculous proposition and are so happy we did. We are determined to make it work by completing each other as we enjoy the journey. Thank you, Lord, for giving us this privilege!

About the Author

Randall A. Bach delights in opportunities to serve the Lord, including his current assignment as president of Open Bible Churches. He earned a master’s degree in organizational leadership from Regent University. Randall and Barbara, his wife, have been in ministry for over 40 years and call it “our adventure together.” Randall loves the church, pastors, and church leaders and is convinced that God loves to work through them to make disciples, develop leaders, and plant churches. A voice for Evangelicals, his work has been featured in several publications, including Ethics: The Old Testament, The New Testament, and Contemporary Application. He serves as a member of the Board of Directors and the Executive Committee of the National Association of Evangelicals.

Randall has produced and edited several publications and other resources, including the Message of the Open Bible, We Believe: Core Truths for Christian Living, and a doctrinal course for youth called We Believe for Kids! He also led the creation of Acquire, Open Bible’s online leadership development site.

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Mission To Multiply 

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When Jesus said in Matthew 16:18 “. . . I will build my church, and the gates of hell will not prevail against it,” He was making a declaration that His Church was going to be an unstoppable force for the kingdom of God. His Church would expand and multiply, and nothing (not death, hell, or the grave) could keep it from its destiny.

We now are the people He uses, through the power of the Holy Spirit, to accomplish His mission for such a time as this.  A few months ago, I heard a quote by author Grant Skeldon that stuck with me. The quote went something like this: “The enemy wants to divide the Church. The Church is busy trying to add. But Jesus wants the Church to multiply.” God had already been speaking and stirring this passion for multiplying within me, and the quote resonated in my spirit.

It’s true, Satan does not want a united Church because he knows when we are united, we become the unstoppable force Jesus spoke of. Therefore, his plan is to try to divide people. He attempts to create jealousy, animosity, backbiting, and gossip in our pastors, churches, and cities, rendering God’s people powerless.

Here is what I would add to Skeldon’s mathematical quote: the world wants to subtract the Church. In culture today, we see many attempts to silence the voice and values of the Church. We see the world trying to erase our God-given assignment and impact, trying to remove our influence by portraying the Church as irrelevant and intolerant.

Too often, churches become distracted, focused on trying to add just a few more people, add a few more programs, add a few more outreaches, add a few more dollars, add a few more baptisms. We become trapped at times in a survival mentality, thinking, “Let’s just get through another Sunday.”

Jesus declared that His Church would not just survive but would thrive and multiply. You see this truth in both the Old and New Testaments, that God’s kingdom and His Church are intended, equipped, and empowered to multiply. From the beginning there is a command that carries a promise: God blesses humanity, saying, “Be fruitful and multiply” (Genesis 1:28). Those words are repeated and ripple throughout the pages of Scripture.

The mandate I sensed God speak to my spirit at National Convention in Dallas as Open Bible transitioned into a new season was a clarion call. Open Bible was to embrace and pursue what God has intended for us, to apprehend what we are apprehended for, to live what is in the DNA of our movement. We, as a fellowship and network of churches, could believe together that God wants to multiply His kingdom through every local church, every minister, all our districts and regions, nationally and globally. The leadership in Open Bible is resolute and passionate about serving our local churches and seeing your ministries multiply, understanding that as they do, we experience God’s promise of multiplication together.

You will hear more in the coming weeks and months about how this word from God can be lived out in practical ways. Together in agreement and alignment, we are on a “Mission to Multiply.” We are believing that over the next few years we will see God multiply His kingdom in your churches and ministries. In addition, we will see Him multiply the number of leaders and ministers in Open Bible, the souls being saved, disciples being trained, churches being planted and adopted, and the next generation being raised up and stepping into their destiny. Will you blend your faith and prayers with ours, believing God’s call is for Open Bible to be “fruitful and multiply”? 

“Be careful to obey all the commands I am giving you today. Then you will LIVE and MULTIPLY, and you will ENTER and OCCUPY the land the Lord swore to give your ancestors” (Deut. 8:1 NLT, emphasis added). 


Michael Nortune

Michael Nortune serves as president of Open Bible Churches. He has ministered in the local church faithfully for 35 years. From his start as a janitor and groundskeeper to lead pastor of Life Church in Concord, California, Michael has had the opportunity to gain experience in every capacity within the church throughout his ministry. Not only does he have hands-on experience on the local level, but Michael has also led at the district, regional, and national levels within Open Bible Churches. 

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Fulfill Our Destiny 

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The full quote for this title comes from E. J. Fulton, one of the key founding leaders who helped birth Open Bible Churches years ago when Open Bible was yet a dream of what it could become. Two distinct fellowships of churches hailing from revival streams in different parts of the country had begun to unite with potential and possibilities — not out of convenience, nor economic advantages, nor just to increase in size. They dreamed of an association of churches that would fulfill the mission of God, that would evangelize the nations, release ambassadors for Christ, send missionaries, plant churches, and raise and train leaders. Fueled through prayer and faith they pursued this passion.

Inasmuch as we seem so compatible in many ways, our desire for fellowship was engendered resulting in an organic union in 1935. . . . In the providence of God these two groups from such different origins found a heart and life interest and had been welded together by the infusion of the Holy Spirit into a blessed fellowship . . . . God grant that we shall never fail to fulfill our destiny in Christ.” *

By Rev. E. J. Fulton

We are now the living proof and answer to our founders’ God-ordained prayer and faith. Each and every one of us now carries on the call. Today we as an association and family of churches are fulfilling our destiny in Christ, and our dreams are bigger than our memories. God has called us to something so great, so grand, and so powerful that there is no way we can do it on our own or in our own strength. The wonderful thing is that He gives us the grace, strength, and supernatural power to achieve it as we pursue His will.  

Though I cherish our heritage and I believe we live in the legacy of those who went before and will leave a legacy for those who are to come, we do not live in 1935, and we cannot just relish the “Good Ol’ days.” The Apostle Paul tells us that though that we stand on the foundation of those before us, “[We] are members of God’s family. Together, we are his house, built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets. And the cornerstone is Christ Jesus himself. We are carefully joined together in him” (Ephesians 2:19-21, NLT, emphasis mine).  

We are built on the past with Jesus as our Cornerstone, and we now blaze a NEW trail to the mission and destiny God has for us – our local churches as well as Open Bible Churches as a whole. I believe God is stirring the waters. He is up to something new; can you perceive it?! There is a harvest coming and a fruitful season ahead – a multiplying moment in our future.  

We stand at a hinge in the history of Open Bible. Some may call it a window of opportunity or a new day or new season. But when you think of a hinge you picture something that allows a door to swing open into a different place, a new place, a fresh place. I have this burning conviction that Open Bible is preparing to step through that door. Not just for us and this time. Not just for the community around our local church or for those far from Christ now, but for the next generation to come.  

We are twelve years away from the one hundredth year celebration of Open Bible’s birth. These next twelve years are the door we walk through together to lay the foundation to propel us into the next one hundred years, should the Lord tarry, of fruitful and powerful ministry. Our legacy will be to build on what was and empower those who are to come to finish the work. You will hear more details about this, but the countdown is on.  

You see, Jesus showed us how to accomplish this task. He lived his life on mission and calls us to do the same. When his parents inadvertently left him at the temple at age twelve, they were shocked to return to see him teaching the scholars of the time. When they inquired of him what he was doing, he replied with the famous words: “Did you not know that I must be about My Father’s business?” (Luke 2:49, NKJV, emphasis mine). He would go on to say later, “My nourishment comes from doing the will of God, who sent me, and from finishing his work (John 4:34, NLT, emphasis mine).   

Now we get to work hard and “never be lacking in zeal” (Romans 12:11, NIV) as we pursue the destiny God calls us to and live the mission that unites us: to “Globally Make Disciples, Plant Churches, and Develop Leaders.”   “God, grant that we will never fail to fulfill our destiny in Christ.”  

The story continues. . . .

*Mitchell, R. Bryant. Heritage and Horizons, Open Bible Publishers, 1982, p. 179.

About the Author

Michael Nortune

Michael Nortune serves as president of Open Bible Churches. He has ministered in the local church faithfully for 35 years. From his start as a janitor and groundskeeper to lead pastor of Life Church in Concord, California, Michael has had the opportunity to gain experience in every capacity within the church throughout his ministry. Not only does he have hands-on experience on the local level, but Michael has also led at the district, regional, and national levels within Open Bible Churches. 

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President's Perspective

Time to Look in the Rearview Mirror 

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Fifty-one years seem like a long time unless you are looking at them in the rearview mirror. For 51 years I have been honored to serve the Lord in a number of capacities through Open Bible Churches. This is the last article I will write for the Message with the title “President” in front of my name. As I contemplate the conclusion of my service as president at the end of this term, I cannot help but look with thanksgiving in the rearview mirror. 

There have been so many experiences, so many opportunities to stretch and grow where I had no previous experience. There were many occasions to look deep inside myself when contemplating my circumstances with the Lord and declare to Him, “I know you placed me here. I need you to help me figure this out and lead where you want me to go.” And for 51 years He has faithfully done that, extending grace on which I was dependent, wisdom when my own was lacking, strength for what I understood would be a distance run, assurance that I would never be alone in doing so, and favor, which I have always known was a gift from Him. If I have accomplished anything, all glory goes to God. I own responsibility for anything else that might not have been as accomplished. 

I am an Open Bible “lifer.” Although I don’t remember it, I am confident that I was in attendance at the Church of the Open Bible in Iowa Falls, Iowa, my first Sunday home after birth. My parents were the kind of people every pastor wants – always at church whenever the doors were open, faithful participants on workdays, tithers, loyal to the pastor and wife, and quality ambassadors for the church. The Open Bible church was the center of my family life. School, sports, and anything else was subordinate to church. If there were any schedule conflicts with church commitments, there was no question that church commitments would always reign supreme. Consequentially, my primary relationships were in the church. I looked up to my pastors and had tremendously supportive and affirming relationships with them. Years ago, while most of them were still alive, I wrote a personal letter of loving appreciation to each of them, describing their influence on me and affirming that to whatever degree the Lord was using me then, they contributed to that by believing and investing love, time, and care in me. I loved and respected my Sunday school teachers, including the ones that I quietly assessed as being terrible teachers. I noted the holiness of their lives and their belief in me, and I accepted them because of those attributes. One of those teachers could absolutely put me into a slumber, but I so respected who he was, his devotion to the Lord and the Bible, and his walk of consistency that I endured his teaching. I learned from his life and who he was more than what he taught in Sunday school. I learned to love Open Bible. Open Bible missionaries were our missionaries. Open Bible leaders from anywhere in the country, from east to west, were our leaders. There was no sense of regionalism or local isolation in our family’s love for Open Bible. We were not the only ones or the center of the known universe; we were joyful about being part of a worldwide Open Bible movement. That was so deeply instilled in me that for the rest of my days I have believed in and advocated for an Open Bible vision as primary rather than segments of our group as primary. My loyalty was cemented, even when later tested by major disappointments in people and institution.  

The Open Bible church was the center of my family life. School, sports, and anything else was subordinate to church. If there were any schedule conflicts with church commitments, there was no question that church commitments would always reign supreme. Consequentially, my primary relationships were in the church. I looked up to my pastors and had tremendously supportive and affirming relationships with them.“

I was nine years old when the Spirit of God supernaturally apprehended me. I was not looking for Him. He found, filled, called, empowered, and led me from that day forward. I was to never be the same. Although I still had to transition from a boy to a man, I had an assurance from Him that it was all under His control. My life would belong to and be dedicated to Him. All of this transcended my understanding. I did not know where it would lead, but I was aware that because of that life-defining encounter, I was special in God’s sight. I must hasten to add, that did not mean more special or better than other people. There was absolutely nothing comparative with others when I say that I knew I was special. It was not a horizontally applied description; it was strictly vertical, founded in a loving embrace of God that defied both explanation and understanding.  

There was an intriguing footnote to my self-discovery when I was in ninth grade. I was in the process of building a campaign, only because others had nominated me, to be elected student body president of my junior high. (I was elected.) Thelma Cave, my pastor’s wife who was gifted artistically and delighted to help with designing my posters, told my mother, “He is going to be president (then called general superintendent) of Open Bible Churches someday.” Why my mother told me about that is one of life’s mysteries because one of Mom’s missions in life was to make sure I would never think too highly of myself. However, as soon as she shared Thelma’s comment with me, I immediately knew in my spirit that I was to lock those words in a side room, never to play with or think about them, only to be unlocked and opened by God, if ever. I would never seek to make what turned out to be a prophetic declaration come to pass. Anyway, I had no thoughts about entering pastoral ministry, which I knew closed that door. Nice affirmation, but it was not going to happen. It was only after it did happen that I reflected on Thelma’s words. She saw what I did not.  

However, I never felt called to be a pastor. Isn’t that the only way God calls and can use you? My pastor while I was in high school virtually peppered me about going to Bible college. I felt no such inclination and resisted what felt like pressure from him. I attended a local community college for two years while living at home. (I was frugal and wanted no debt!) I then transferred to the University of Northern Iowa, majoring in history and political science. Although I selected a teacher training track, I was most intrigued by government. My secret desire was to be a born-again senator for the state of Iowa or a United States ambassador. However, through a sequence of events I realized those dreams would not be fulfilled. I would stay with the education track and earn my certification to teach high school. I did my student teaching in the Cedar Falls, Iowa, high school and applied for teaching jobs in social studies as graduation from college approached.  

I discovered that a pursuit of excellence can be misunderstood by many people! Pursuing excellence is not the same as perfectionism. To a perfectionist, no pleasure can be obtained by doing a good work. Perfectionism continually haunts with the threat of failure if one would fall short in any way. Nothing can ever be good enough for a perfectionist. By contrast, a pursuit of excellence is a God-honoring resolve to give one’s absolute best at all times, not settling for or accepting mediocrity as a standard. Excellence may not be perfect, but excellence represents the best that can be done, and excellence will always go higher and farther than failure to pursue it. 

The teaching market dried up at that time! There were no jobs available, even in the most remote and isolated outposts of civilization. God has His way of working in every situation. I learned that Open Bible College was looking for part-time teachers, so Barbara and I met with the dean. She was hired to be the college bookkeeper and I was hired to teach part-time, at the exorbitant salary of $40 per week. We were thankful! God was good to us, giving us favor and opportunity to serve in many ways. I could never have paid for such a rich education! When I was 24 years of age, I was appointed executive vice president and, at 29, was named president of the college. I will always say I owe Open Bible College more than it ever paid me. That era of service was followed by years of service in several capacities at the national office followed by service as the regional executive director for East Region Open Bible Churches before being called to the presidency. 

I have embraced every place of service as the will of God for my life and resolved to give every ounce of my fiber to it. God would ultimately have to do the work, but perish the thought if a lack of energy, will, or work ethic on my part would hinder what He wanted to do! I discovered that inextricably linked to the call of God on my life was a commitment to pursue excellence. They are welded together for me.  

I discovered that a pursuit of excellence can be misunderstood by many people! Pursuing excellence is not the same as perfectionism. To a perfectionist, no pleasure can be obtained by doing a good work. Perfectionism continually haunts with the threat of failure if one would fall short in any way. Nothing can ever be good enough for a perfectionist. By contrast, a pursuit of excellence is a God-honoring resolve to give one’s absolute best at all times, not settling for or accepting mediocrity as a standard. Excellence may not be perfect, but excellence represents the best that can be done, and excellence will always go higher and farther than failure to pursue it. 

My heart is filled with humble appreciation and thanksgiving for the opportunities both He and Open Bible Churches have given me to serve. I trust I have made a positive difference during my season. Barbara, my lovingly faithful, loyal wife and fellow sojourner, and I have traveled thousands of miles and met for countless hours with pastors and spouses, offering a safe place for personal sharing of burdens and challenges, and providing opportunity to visit about ministry. What an honor that has been, to be invited into the lives and journeys of such dedicated servants of the Lord. It has been much more than strategizing about ministry nuts and bolts; it has been walking together in sharing about life, family, and calling. Barbara and I have been touched by the unrelenting determination of people to follow God’s calling despite health challenges, limitations caused by age, and life-altering circumstances. What a privilege it has been to learn about and pray with them about their journeys. We love all our ministry associates who, over many years, became our friends. How we will miss the opportunities to interact with them during travels. 

It is time to pass the baton to my successor (identity unknown at the time of this writing). Please give to him and his wife the love and support with which you have blessed Barbara and me. I look forward to great days of fresh anointing, vision, and fruitfulness throughout Open Bible Churches. Thank you, Open Bible, for your love, for believing in us, and for providing so many opportunities to serve. We will always cherish what we have been privileged to do over 51 years and our hearts are filled with gratitude for God’s never-ending faithfulness.  

About the Author

Randall Bach

Randall A. Bach delights in opportunities to serve the Lord, including his current assignment as president of Open Bible Churches. He earned a master’s degree in organizational leadership from Regent University. Randall and Barbara, his wife, have been in ministry almost as long as they have been married. They are grateful to have celebrated their 50th Wedding Anniversary in 2021. Randall loves the church, pastors, and church leaders and is convinced that God loves to work through them to make disciples, develop leaders, and plant churches. A voice for Evangelicals, his work has been featured in several publications, including Ethics: The Old Testament, The New Testament, and Contemporary Application. He serves as a member of the Board of Directors and the Executive Committee of the National Association of Evangelicals. Randall has produced and edited several publications and other resources, including the Message of the Open Bible, We Believe: Core Truths for Christian Living, a doctrinal course for youth called We Believe for Kids, and Thriving in the Spirit, an instructional book about the Holy Spirit and how we should respond to Him. He also led the creation of ACQUIRE, Open Bible’s online leadership development site.

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