President's Perspective
Are You Expecting Too Much from Your Spouse?
By Randall Bach
It is amusing to watch the reaction of many people when they learn that Barbara and I have been married for 50 years. They look at us with wonderment as if they were observing the last of a virtually extinct species. We aren’t nearly as impressed with ourselves. We realize we are not perfect and have discovered that marriage takes a lot of work. We are thankful for God’s grace and each other’s grace in our lives and marriage.
My parents had been married for 65 years when my mother was the first to die. We know other couples who have been married for more years than that. People do have lifelong marriages! While we never presume upon life, we eagerly look forward to celebrating our Golden Anniversary.
When we recited those marriage vows that included “til death do us part,” we did not do so flippantly. There was going to be no looking back. Our lives would be cemented together as one from that day forward, not because we were obligated to do so but because our vows were rooted in our souls, founded on love, intertwined with love for and commitment to God – not to be later doubted or fretted over in fear we made a mistake. No, we were all in. And we still are. No looking back with regret. Only looking forward with anticipation.
So what is the key to establishing a marriage for life? Never having a disagreement or argument! Hopefully, when you read that sentence you immediately recognized it as facetious. Barbara and I chuckle and roll our eyes about a “big” argument we had when we were newly married. I angered her, and she threw the Hostess Ding Dong that was in her hand at me. In anger, I retaliated by throwing one back at her. We both missed. As one plastered Ding Dong slid down the wall leaving a squiggly chocolate trail and the other did the same on a kitchen cabinet, we began laughing at the silliness of what we had just done (as well as the financial cost of assassinating two Ding Dongs!). I am happy to report we have not repeated that food fight.
No, two individuals cannot dare to unite their lives as one without some friction between entirely different personalities and backgrounds. Dying to self does not come easily. In honor preferring one another (Romans 12:10) runs counter to our base natures if they are not redemptively renewed each day. Differences and arguments are going to happen, and we need to be able to keep them in perspective, offering grace to each other instead of allowing the disagreements to escalate with long-term ramifications.
I believe prospects for long and blessed marriages are profoundly influenced by expectations. There are some expectations of a marriage that are foundational and appropriate and if not honored will undermine or destroy a marriage.
Realistic Expectations:
- FAITHFULNESS. No excuses about this one. Fidelity is foundational and indispensable to trust, and when one or both people in a marriage do not trust each other it is like sepsis, a toxic blood infection that seeks to conquer the entire body. It is a realistic expectation that your spouse will be faithful to you.
- LOVE. A marriage without love is but a living arrangement. Here today and gone tomorrow and on to the next arrangement. However, love must be understood as being much more and much deeper than emotion. Emotion depends on the day. (“She loves me, she loves me not.”) Love involves resolve that transcends feelings.
- TRUTHFULNESS. A marriage cannot thrive when there is doubt about a spouse’s integrity and believability. A lack of truthfulness undermines trust and willingness to stand with each other in difficult times and situations. “Do I believe him/her?” should never be part of a marriage. Lack of truthfulness corrodes marriage at its core.
- COMMITMENT. “Come what may, including tragedies, disappointments, failures, or wealth, I am with you. You can count on me. I will be there with you and for you, in the best and worst of times.” Commitment means not looking elsewhere for relational or sexual fulfillment. Commitment represents backbone in following through.
- GOD-CENTERED SPOUSE. When God is at the center of a marriage, it means both the husband and wife are devoted to the Lord and make relationship with Him priority one, even before their spouse. This priority enriches and deepens the relationship with your spouse! There is no substitute for asking and allowing God to be part of a marriage. Passionately activating and applying truths and principles from God’s Word provides a firm foundation for a meaningful and mutually fulfilling marriage.
When one of those realistic expectations is violated, it tears at or destroys the others. Each realistic expectation leans upon the others. Can marriages survive a breakdown in realistic expectations? Yes, when repentance, forgiveness, and demonstration of faithful commitment to those expectations are clear, convincing, and lasting. Without those steps, however, a marriage cannot withstand having its foundation of realistic expectations violated and destroyed.
Unrealistic marital expectations chip away at a marriage’s foundation. They siphon energy, love, and joy by imposing demands that are unlikely to be met. Unrealistic expectations skew and confuse perspective, the ability to evaluate frustrations in the context of a big picture. There are probably many unrealistic expectations that negatively impact marriages. I will just focus on three.
Unrealistic Expectations:
- He/she will change into the person I desire. This unrealistic expectation has killed many marriages. Although both spouses should grow and mature, the personality traits you see at the beginning are imprinted. I knew one of Barbara’s characteristics was a healthy enjoyment of interactive attention. In contrast, I do not desire attention and can become uncomfortable with very much of it. For years I thought my trait was mature and hers was immature, and I hoped she would grow out of her need for attention. It was at an eye-opening marriage weekend event that I learned about the individual needs every spouse has and that those needs should be celebrated instead of interpreted as something to change. It was as if a blindfold dropped from my eyes! Now Barbara’s natural need for attention is something I love and enjoy about her. It is part of what makes her delightful to me, and I love looking for ways to fulfill her need. She did not need to change who she is; I needed to embrace who she is! Instead of trying to change your spouse, work at loving and understanding him or her. You might even see some change as a result!
- He/she will meet all my needs. All spouses should dedicate themselves to meeting needs of their spouses, but few will be completely successful. If you focus on the ten percent of your needs that your spouse fails to meet, you will never appreciate and love the ninety percent they succeed in meeting. No human, including your spouse, can meet all your needs. Remember, though, that God can minister to your deepest needs. A central mission of marriage is changing the usual human focus from meeting my needs first to meeting my spouse’s needs first. Understanding and dedicating yourself to that mission will revolutionize a marriage.
- He/she will be a perfect parent. Are you? I have never understood how a small child knows how to recognize differences between parents and will work to exploit those differences. If parents do not counter this type of behavior, they will encourage the child to become even more skilled in exploitation. Most parents start out parenting like they were parented, for good or bad, and have to learn about good parenting. That is vitally important homework! Share in that resolve and joy of discovery together.
What a splendid idea God had when He created marriage! Men and women are innately attracted to each other. This is true in every culture around the world. However, there is something ennobling, health-producing, uplifting, and holy when a man and woman consecrate themselves to God and each other in marriage. In the natural, marriage is a ridiculous proposition: two entirely different personalities constantly living together in commitment to each other, sacrificing together, raising a family together, tackling life together, and growing old together, all held together by the bond of heaven-blessed love. That is a journey! Barbara and I signed up for the ridiculous proposition and are so happy we did. We are determined to make it work by completing each other as we enjoy the journey. Thank you, Lord, for giving us this privilege!
About the Author
Randall A. Bach delights in opportunities to serve the Lord, including his current assignment as president of Open Bible Churches. He earned a master’s degree in organizational leadership from Regent University. Randall and Barbara, his wife, have been in ministry for over 40 years and call it “our adventure together.” Randall loves the church, pastors, and church leaders and is convinced that God loves to work through them to make disciples, develop leaders, and plant churches. A voice for Evangelicals, his work has been featured in several publications, including Ethics: The Old Testament, The New Testament, and Contemporary Application. He serves as a member of the Board of Directors and the Executive Committee of the National Association of Evangelicals.
Randall has produced and edited several publications and other resources, including the Message of the Open Bible, We Believe: Core Truths for Christian Living, and a doctrinal course for youth called We Believe for Kids! He also led the creation of Acquire, Open Bible’s online leadership development site.
Every January since my first year serving as president of Open Bible, I’ve invited our Open Bible family to set aside a week for focused prayer and fasting. We call it “Awakening”; it is a week to seek God together and align our hearts with His purposes for the year ahead.
Each year I’ve been encouraged by how many pastors, churches, and leaders have participated. I believe what began as a week of prayer and fasting is becoming something more—a movement of awakening across Open Bible.
… what began as a week of prayer and fasting is becoming something more—a movement of awakening across Open Bible.
As we approach Awakening 2026, I sense God calling us not simply to talk about prayer or to understand the priority, place, pattern, or even practice of prayer. All of these are biblical and essential, as we will see briefly. But what I also want us to embrace again is the promise of prayer.
As we commit ourselves to prayer and pray according to His will, we know He hears us. But I am also struck by this thought: if Jesus asks us to pray and shows us how to pray and what to pray, then surely He intends to answer those prayers. He would not instruct us to pray in a certain way only to respond, “I don’t think so,” or “That’s not something I would do.” When we pray according to His will, there is a promise attached. Let’s examine this thought in more detail.
The Priority of Prayer
In Matthew 6, Jesus says, “When you pray…” not if you pray, not “on your good days pray,” or “in desperation pray.” “When you pray” implies the expectation of regular and consistent time with Him. Prayer is essential for every one of us.
Jesus modeled this. We see that He frequently withdrew to places to pray and would rise early to spend time in prayer. Before performing miracles, making decisions, or facing challenges, He prayed. Prayer was His priority and His starting point. The disciples recognized this priority and eventually asked Him, “Lord, teach us to pray.” They could have asked Him how to do anything, yet the one thing they understood they needed was this life of prayer and communion with the Father.
If prayer was Jesus’ priority, it must be ours as well.
The Place of Prayer
Matthew 6:6 tells us to go into our room and pray to the Father. Prayer is personal and relational.
Luke 11 adds another layer: “Jesus was praying in a certain place.” This was familiar, intentional, habitual. Jesus returned to a place because prayer was His rhythm.
We all need a “certain place,” a space where we meet with God. The location isn’t what matters; His presence does. In that place of prayer, clarity grows, peace settles, and the Holy Spirit aligns our hearts with God’s will.
The Pattern of Prayer
For generations, believers have studied the Lord’s Prayer as a pattern to follow—and rightfully so. It includes worship, surrender, dependence, repentance, forgiveness, and spiritual covering. It is powerful and worth using as a model. But it’s more than a pattern. It’s an invitation to relationship. Prayer is not simply reciting words; it’s drawing near to the Father. The pattern leads us to the Person.
The Practice of Prayer
Prayer is a discipline we cultivate. Acts 1:14 says the early church “joined together constantly in prayer.” Prayer wasn’t an event; it was a lifestyle.
Prayer wasn’t an event; it was a lifestyle.
This connects to our MULTIPLY values. The “I” stands for Intimacy with God and fellowship with the Holy Spirit. Prayer is what produces that intimacy. The more we practice prayer, the more we recognize God’s voice and trust His leading.
The Promise of Prayer
Here is the point I want to drive home: Jesus didn’t just teach us how to pray; He promised God would hear our prayers, and His heart is to answer. If He told us to pray, “Your kingdom come, Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven,” then we can trust He desires to fulfill that prayer. He wants us to experience His Kingdom in our lives each and every day—a promise for us to possess.
Here are a few Scriptures that reinforce this idea:
- “Ask and it will be given to you…” (Matthew 7:7).
“I will do whatever you ask in my name…” (John 14:13).
“Call to me and I will answer you…” (Jeremiah 33).
“The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.” (James 5:16).
“If we ask anything according to His will, He hears us…” (1 John 5:14).
Prayer is more than a pattern or routine; it also has a promise. When we pray according to His will, heaven responds.
As we prepare to step into 2026, I believe God is calling Open Bible to pray first. Before we make our plans, before we act or react, and before we lead, we pray.
Not prayer as routine, but prayer as relationship. Not prayer as obligation, but prayer as awakening. So, I invite every pastor, leader, and church to pursue intimacy with God and the fellowship of the Spirit this year. Hold onto the promise that He hears and answers.
Join us for Awakening 2026, January 18–24, as we pray and fast together with churches around the world, seeking God for a move of His Spirit in the year ahead.
About the Author
Michael Nortune serves as president of Open Bible Churches. He has ministered in the local church faithfully for thirty-five years. From his start as a janitor and groundskeeper to church planter and lead pastor of Life Church in Concord, California, Michael has had the opportunity to gain experience in every capacity within the church throughout his ministry. Not only does he have hands-on experience on the local level, but Michael has also led at the district, regional, and national levels within Open Bible Churches. Michael and his wife, Julie, currently reside in Colorado and love living near five of their six children and their spouses. They also treasure the time they spend with their other daughter who lives in Alabama with their first (but not the last) grandson!
Adapted from President Michael Nortune’s message at National Convention 2025
In 1990, during a game against the Cavaliers, Michael Jordan scored a career-high sixty-nine points. Rookie teammate Stacey King came in late and hit a single free throw. After the game, as reporters were clamoring around Michael Jordan for questions and quotes, King quipped, “I will always remember this as the night that Michael Jordan and I combined to score seventy points.”
It’s a humorous line — but also a profound picture of what it means to be part of something greater than yourself. In the Kingdom of God, it’s not about who scores the most; it’s about showing up, stepping in, and doing your part. Even one point matters when the mission is shared.
This is the heart behind The Power of We, the theme of our 2025 Open Bible National Convention. And I believe what we experienced together this year in Orlando was more than a gathering. It was truly a divine appointment!
President Michael Nortune unveils the new Open Bible logo.
Some arrived full of vision and faith while others came a bit weary from the weight of ministry. But what united us was not our circumstances or season; it was our shared faith, our shared mission, and our shared future.
From the first moment we worshiped together, it was clear: God was doing something deep among us. He reminded us that we were never meant to lead alone. The Church isn’t built by individuals — it’s built by people united in purpose, empowered by the Spirit, and connected in community.
It’s the Acts 2 model.
“All the believers were together…
Acts 2:1–4, 42–44
Each of them was filled…
All the believers devoted themselves…
All met together… they shared everything they had…”
Over and over, we see a Church that didn’t just meet — it moved together. The Holy Spirit didn’t fill a bunch of individuals scattered across the city. He filled a room full of believers who were unified in their pursuit of God and His mission.
We are in a defining moment, a time when God is inviting us to lift our eyes to the harvest and step boldly into what we call the Mission to Multiply. We believe in a future where there are life-giving, disciple-making, Spirit-empowered Open Bible churches in every state and in one hundred nations around the world who possess a missional mindset, a multiplying priority, and a mobilizing commitment.
Every church, every pastor, every nation represented globally in Open Bible is a result of that decision. And now it’s our turn.
In Luke 5 Jesus told Peter to cast his nets after a night of fruitless fishing. This time, the nets were so full they began to break. Scripture tells us “They signaled to their partners in the other boat to come and help them…” (Luke 5:7). Later it says, “James and John… were partners with Simon” (5:10).
Both Acts 2 and Luke 5:10 use the root word koinonia, meaning spiritual partnership. We see evidence of the disciples’ shared mission, shared identity, and shared sacrifice. That’s what Jesus built His Church on, and that’s what this movement, Open Bible, is built on.
In 1935, two revivalist groups, the Bible Standard Conference and the Open Bible Evangelistic Association, prayed and believed that together they could do more. As they joined their two growing movements together, they chose unity over independence, believing the mission was too important to accomplish alone.
We are the fruit of that decision. Every church, every pastor, every nation represented globally in Open Bible is a result of that decision. And now it’s our turn.
That’s why this year’s convention marked something historic. Our Executive Leadership Team (ELT) — The Regional Executive Directors, Global Missions Executive Directors and National President and Secretary/Treasurer — made a powerful decision: to lay down their individual logos and ministry-specific vision statements and embrace one unified identity.
We’re not just working near one another — we’re working with one another. We’re not separate voices, but one voice. We’re not serving competing visions, but one mission.
We’re not just working near one another — we’re working with one another. We’re not separate voices, but one voice. We’re not serving competing visions, but one mission: to globally make disciples, develop leaders, and multiply churches.
We even unveiled a new shared logo, not just as a design, but as a declaration: we are in this together. And it’s not just talk. It’s already happening.
Churches are being planted in creative ways. Ministries are being adopted and aligned. Schools of Ministry are raising up new leaders. INSTE is discipling new pastors. Open Bible Churches are being planted in new nations around the world.
As we look ahead, we need to continue to strengthen our existing churches, plant more churches nationally and globally, and develop younger leaders. We need to cultivate the next generation not just to inherit the work but to lead it forward.
The good news? We have everything we need.
As Paul reminds us in 1 Corinthians 1, “…Now you have every spiritual gift you need…. God has called you into fellowship with His Son, Jesus Christ our Lord. And He is faithful” (vs 7,9).
That’s the Power of We.
That’s the heart of Open Bible.
And that’s the hope for the road ahead.
So, let’s keep signaling across the water, joining our boats (churches) on mission together, and casting our nets together for a great harvest.
Here are some highlights from the Power of We Convention. See more Here:
About the Author
Michael Nortune serves as president of Open Bible Churches. He has ministered in the local church faithfully for 35 years. From his start as a janitor and groundskeeper to church planter and lead pastor of Life Church in Concord, California, Michael has had the opportunity to gain experience in every capacity within the church throughout his ministry. Not only does he have hands-on experience on the local level, but Michael has also led at the district, regional, and national levels within Open Bible Churches. Michael and his wife, Julie, currently reside in Colorado and love living near five of their six children and their spouses. They also treasure the time they spend with their other daughter who lives in Alabama with their first (but not the last) grandson!
Texto adaptado del mensaje del presidente Michael Nortune en la Convención Nacional de 2025
El año 1990, durante un partido contra los Cavaliers, Michael Jordan anotó sesenta y nueve puntos, el récord de su carrera. Su compañero novato Stacey King llegó tarde y lanzó un solo tiro libre. Después del partido, mientras los periodistas se agolpaban alrededor de Michael Jordan para hacerle preguntas y comentarios, King bromeó: «Siempre recordaré esta noche como la que Michael Jordan y yo nos combinamos para anotar setenta puntos».
Es una frase graciosa, pero también es una ilustración profunda de lo que significa formar parte de algo más grande que uno mismo. En el Reino de Dios, no se trata de quién anota más puntos; se trata de hacer acto de presencia, intervenir y poner de su parte. Cuando la misión es compartida, cada punto cuenta.
Esa es la esencia de: «El Poder de Nosotros», el lema de la Convención Nacional de la Biblia Abierta, 2025. Y creo que lo que experimentamos juntos este año en Orlando fue más que una reunión; ¡fue una verdadera cita divina!
El presidente Michael Nortune presenta el nuevo logotipo de la Biblia Abierta.
Algunos llegaron llenos de visión y fe, mientras que otros vinieron un poco cansados por el peso del ministerio. Pero lo que nos unía, más allá de nuestras circunstancias o fases de la vida, era nuestra fe común, así como nuestra misión y nuestro futuro, que compartíamos todos.
Estaba claro desde el primer momento en que adoramos a Dios juntos: Era evidente que Dios estaba haciendo algo profundo entre nosotros. Nos recordó que no estábamos destinados a liderar solos. La Iglesia no la construyen individuos, sino personas unidas bajo un mismo propósito, fortalecidas por el Espíritu Santo y conectadas en comunidad.
Ese es el modelo de Hechos 2.
«Todos los creyentes estaban unánimes juntos…
Hch. 2:1-4, 42-44, RVR-1960
Cada uno de ellos fue lleno…
Todos los creyentes perseveraban…
Todos estaban juntos… tenían en común todas las cosas…»
Una y otra vez vemos una Iglesia que no solo se reunía, sino que se movía unida. El Espíritu Santo no llenó a un grupo de personas dispersas por la ciudad. Llenó un cuarto repleto de creyentes que estaban unidos en la búsqueda de Dios y SU misión.
Estamos en un momento decisivo, un tiempo en el que Dios nos invita a alzar la vista hacia la mies y a dar un paso audaz hacia lo que llamamos la Misión de Multiplicar. Creemos en un futuro con iglesias de la Biblia Abierta en cada estado y en cien naciones de todo el mundo: iglesias que den vida, hagan discípulos y estén empoderadas por el Espíritu Santo con mentalidad misionera, prioridad multiplicadora y compromiso movilizador.
Cada iglesia, cada pastor y cada nación representados globalmente en la Biblia Abierta son fruto de esa decisión. Y ahora nos toca a nosotros.
En Lucas 5, Jesús le dijo a Pedro que echara las redes después de una noche de pesca en la que no habían obtenido ningún resultado. Esta vez, las redes estaban tan llenas que empezaron a romperse. La Escritura nos dice: «hicieron señas a los compañeros que estaban en la otra barca, para que viniesen a ayudarles…» (Lucas 5:7). Más adelante dice: «Jacobo y Juan… eran compañeros de Simón» (5:10, RVR-1960).
Tanto Hechos 2 como Lucas 5:10 utilizan la palabra koinonia, que significa compañerismo espiritual. Los discípulos muestran evidencias de que compartieron una misión, una identidad y un sacrificio. En eso edificó Jesús su Iglesia, y sobre lo mismo es edificado este movimiento de la Biblia Abierta.
En 1935, dos movimientos de avivamiento, la Bible Standard Conference (Conferencia del Estándar Bíblico), y la Open Bible Evangelistic Association (Asociación Evangelística de la Biblia Abierta), oraron y creyeron que juntos podían hacer más. Al unir sus dos crecientes movimientos, optaron por la unidad en lugar de la independencia, creyendo que la misión era demasiado importante para llevarla a cabo solos.
Somos fruto de esa decisión. Cada iglesia, cada pastor y cada nación representados globalmente en la Biblia Abierta son fruto de esa decisión. Y ahora nos toca a nosotros.
Por esa razón, la Convención Nacional de este año marcó un hito histórico. Nuestro Equipo de liderazgo ejecutivo (ELT, por sus siglas en inglés), los directores ejecutivos regionales, los directores ejecutivos de Misiones Globales, el presidente nacional y el secretario-tesorero, tomaron una decisión poderosa: renunciar a sus logotipos y declaraciones de visión individuales de cada ministerio y adoptar una identidad unificada.
No solo trabajamos codo con codo, sino que trabajamos juntos. No somos voces separadas, sino una sola voz. No servimos a visiones en competencia, sino a una misión
No solo trabajamos codo con codo, sino que trabajamos juntos. No somos voces separadas, sino una sola voz. No servimos a visiones en competencia, sino a una misión: hacer discípulos, desarrollar líderes y multiplicar iglesias en todo el mundo.
Hasta hemos presentado un nuevo logotipo común, no sólo como diseño, sino como declaración: estamos juntos en esto. Y no son sólo palabras. Ya está ocurriendo.
Se están plantando iglesias de forma creativa. Se están adoptando y alineando ministerios. Las Escuelas de Ministerio están capacitando a nuevos líderes. INSTE está haciendo discípulos y formando nuevos pastores. Se están plantando iglesias de la Biblia Abierta en nuevas naciones por todo el mundo.
Al mirar hacia adelante, tenemos que seguir fortaleciendo nuestras iglesias existentes, plantar más iglesias a nivel nacional y mundial, y desarrollar líderes más jóvenes. Debemos formar a la próxima generación no sólo para que herede la obra, sino para que la dirija.
¿Cuál es la buena noticia? Tenemos todo lo que necesitamos.
Tal y como nos recuerda Pablo en 1 Corintios 1, «…no les falta ningún don espiritual … Fiel es Dios quien los ha llamado a tener comunión con su Hijo Jesucristo, nuestro Señor.». (vv. 7,9. NVI)
Ese es el «Poder de Nosotros».
Ese es el corazón de la Biblia Abierta.
Y esa es la esperanza para el camino que tenemos por delante.
Así que sigamos haciendo señas a través de las aguas, uniendo nuestras barcas (iglesias) en misión conjunta y echando nuestras redes juntos para obtener una gran cosecha.
A continuación, se presentan algunos aspectos destacados de la Convención «El Poder de Nosotros». Ver más aquí:
Sobre el autor
Michael Nortune es presidente de las Iglesias de la Biblia Abierta. Ha servido fielmente en la iglesia local durante treinta y cinco años. Desde sus inicios como conserje y jardinero hasta ser el pastor principal de la Iglesia Life Church en Concord (California), Michael ha adquirido experiencia a lo largo de su ministerio en todas las funciones dentro de la iglesia. No sólo tiene experiencia práctica a nivel local, sino que también ha liderado a nivel distrital, regional y nacional dentro de las Iglesias de la Biblia Abierta. Michael y su esposa Julie residen actualmente en Colorado, donde les fascina vivir cerca de cinco de sus seis hijos y sus cónyuges. También disfrutan del tiempo que pasan con su otra hija, que vive en Alabama, y con su primer (pero no último) nieto.
