5 Things
Five Ways to Grow Old Gracefully
By Gary L. Wyatt, Sr.
At the time that I am writing these suggestions, I am 63 years old. If you have lived as long as I have, you must have heard someone say, “Age is just a number.” I’m always bothered by that statement because often the person who is making this statement doesn’t want to act their age or they don’t want to face the fact that they are getting older. Age is not just a number; it’s more of a gauge as to where you are in life and where you are headed, such as young age, middle age, or old age.
If we live long enough, we have the blessed privilege of experiencing all three phases of life, and I might add that growing older is a divine privilege that millions of people have not been afforded the opportunity to experience. Those of us who are middle aged or older should be thankful that we made it thus far, and we should figure out how we are going to grow older more gracefully.
I’ve heard it said that old age is not for the faint of heart, mainly because of the physical ailments and mental lapses older folk often experience. Even with these challenges, if we look diligently into life, we can find ways to age gracefully. These suggestions may or may not fit you, but hopefully at least you will give them some thought.
Recall Positively
In my 63+ years of life I have made a lot of mistakes. Recalling those regrets always puts me in a bad mood; it also makes me feel like I was and still am a bad person. As I was talking to my wife, Cheryl, not long ago, I told her that as I recall the negative things in my past (my bad), I must determine to also recall the positive things in my past as well (my good).
The reality is that the good in my past far outweighs the bad. As I recall my past, I choose to recall the positive things that I have accomplished and experienced. My positive recollection of my past propels me to push ahead with the intention of continuing to do good with the life that I have left here on earth.
Release Regularly
As I recall the good I have done and experienced in my past, I must also practice releasing the negative things in my past on a regular basis. I sometimes find it hard to even forgive myself for the negative things that have happened decades ago in my life. But I am learning that if I am going to be mentally healthy in my present, I must release regularly the negative things in my past that hinder my current progress. Otherwise, the enemy attempts to make me feel like, “What’s the use in moving forward when I have a past that is full of mistakes?”
The spiritual application that helps me is this: remembering that my standing is one thing, and my state is another. I have right standing in Christ, and that right standing trumps the negative state that I had in my past, that I may have in my present, or that I may have in my future. I can release all my past mistakes because they have been washed away by the blood of Jesus. Whomever Jesus sets free is free indeed.
Reward Unapologetically
Every now and then it is good to reward yourself for past and present accomplishments, service rendered, or goals you have reached over the years. You and I should never feel guilty about throwing our own party when necessary after all we have done. No guilt is warranted when we have worked hard and achieved some dreams and goals in life. Do not apologize or feel guilty; reward yourself unapologetically, and do it to the fullest extent you possibly can even if it means spending some of your children’s inheritance!
Refuel Daily
As I get older, what I think about often is not how old I am getting, but the quality of life I will have as I age. I have watched older people empty out their lives to the point where they seem to have nothing left in the tank to give. They sit alongside the road of life needing AAA to come and supply them with “just a little more gas” to make it to their next destination in life. And there are some old folks who choose to sit alongside the road of life and “call it a day,” a week, a month, or the rest of their life.
I don’t know what fuels or refuels your tank, but for me it’s mostly reading and riding my electric bike. Notice I said “electric” because my electric bike allows me to accelerate without peddling. Yes, I peddle a lot, but when I hit the throttle and just ride, I feel like the wind is refueling and refreshing me. IT’S A WONDERFUL THING! And as spring is just about here, I will be refueling as much as possible so I can have something in my tank to fuel me for the goals that I still plan to accomplish. So, find something that will refuel you daily; do not just sit in a rocking chair and let the rest of your life pass you by.
Refire Mentally
When most people get to the age of 65, they decide to retire, and that’s their business. When I look at the word retire, I see “tire,” which is one letter short of “tired.” Maybe the person is tired of the job that they are retiring from, and I get that. However, at 65 no one should be tired of life or of living. With this in mind, how about “refiring” mentally? For me, that means to start thinking about what life can look like moving forward. To have a vibrant, thriving, and exciting life, our mentality must be set on fire. This happens by dreaming again and allowing the dream(s) to reignite the flames of passion in us. Yes, senior citizens can dream again and can accomplish those dreams if and when they “refire” mentally.
Let’s be sure, I am not talking about having dreams that your body is not capable of accomplishing. I am talking about having dreams that are within reason, dreams for which you still have enough in the tank to propel you towards or for which you can create a team to help you accomplish those dreams. Refiring is a mental issue that requires the proper accelerant. My accelerant is simply this: Father Time is undefeated, and the clock is ticking, so I must make best use of the time that I have left here on earth.
Consider the acronym AGE, which stands for ALWAYS GIVE EFFORT!
Your latter can be greater than the former if you can remember to ALWAYS GIVE EFFORT! Shalom!
About the Author
Gary Wyatt has been the lead pastor at SureHouse Open Bible Church in Tacoma, Washington, for over 28 years. He joined Open Bible Churches in October of 2000 and has served as a Pacific Region Board member and Northwest District Director. He currently serves on Open Bible’s Unity Commission. Gary is a husband, father, grandfather, musician, singer, composer, and author. He resides in Spanaway, Washington, with his wife, Cheryl.
My husband Josh and I joke that we have a punch card for all the life-threatening scares our children have given us, and that punch card is completely filled.
I want to cash it in for a prize, please.
Yet each life-threatening moment (and let’s be honest, just living) has taught me the imperative of prayer. Sometimes I sense the Lord allowed these events to strengthen my prayer life, teaching me not only the importance of prayer but also methods of praying that have opened my eyes to His power in action.
My prayers of this season are stained with tears, joy, anguish, strangled silence, unstifled cries, and awestruck gratitude.
I could not have survived without my lifeline of constant communication with the Lord of Heaven’s Armies. My prayers of this season are stained with tears, joy, anguish, strangled silence, unstifled cries, and awestruck gratitude.
The following are five things I have learned about prayer, with about a dozen encouragements squeezed in for good measure.
1. The best time to pray is right now.
It’s hard to admit, but I used to be that person who would say they would pray for someone, then forget to actually do it.
Jesus caught hold of me and had a serious talk with my heart, and I have since repented, learning that the best time to pray is right now.
Now, when someone asks me to pray for them, it doesn’t matter what I am doing; I stop, take their hands, and ask if I can pray for them right now. It does not matter if it is in the grocery aisle, in the church hallway on a Sunday morning, as I am rushing to accomplish a task, walking to my car, or watching my daughter’s soccer match. Every time I say I will pray for someone or am asked to say a prayer, that is my Holy Spirit cue to stop and pray RIGHT NOW.
Allow your life to be interruptible for prayer.
2. Invite children and youth to pray for you.
This lesson is brought to you by my three daughters, who have shown me the power of a young person praying. Children and youth do not have less of the Holy Spirit than adults! Being older and more experienced in life does not give me a greater volume of Holy Spirit power.
Children and youth pray with a purity untarnished by life’s cynicism and skepticism.
I see evidence of this in children who feel called to pray over others, teenagers joining hands with adults to pray for bonds to be broken, and youth bowing their heads for freedom and healing.
Children and youth pray with a purity untarnished by life’s cynicism and skepticism.
Seek them out for prayer
3. Practice the Prayer of Examen.
I did not misspell that word. The Prayer of Examen is a rhythm of prayer in which, at the end of your day, you assess your availability to the Spirit with honesty and humility in five ways:
Gratitude: Note the ways you have experienced God’s loving presence today and thank Him.
Ask: Invite the Holy Spirit to provide insight beyond human capacity.
Review: Review the day and moments where God passed right by, unnoticed or ignored.
Repentance: Ask forgiveness for any moments you rejected, ignored, or rebelled against God’s invitation to you.
Renewal: Look ahead to the next twenty-four hours, resolving to respond to the Holy Spirit.
4. Pray Scripture.
There are many moments in counseling others when I have no words for what they need or I am at a loss about how to direct them. In those moments, the Lord reminds me that His Word is a balm. Because His Word does not return void, I take up the sword of truth and use it to bring healing and guidance in ways only He can. I love to pray Scripture over people. Often, I don’t even realize I have Scripture memorized; it just comes out of me as I pray! When you are in your quiet time each day with the Lord and a portion of Scripture speaks to your heart, write it down, memorize it, and wield it in your prayers for others.
5. Pray Creatively.
I am praying right now that the Lord will open your eyes wide to prayer in your every day. May you be available and interruptible, seeing the miraculous because of your obedience.
“O, Lord, hear. O, Lord, forgive. O, Lord, listen and act! For your own sake, do not delay…” (Daniel 9:19 NIV).
*To read more about Melissa’s testimony and how it has driven her to pray, read her related article, The Miracle that is Adelaide.
About the Author
Melissa Stelly serves as the executive pastor at Turning Point Church in Spokane, Washington, alongside her husband, Josh Stelly. She has attended Turning Point for thirty-five years. She is the mother of three daughters, adores camping, hiking, and adventuring, is a voracious reader, and considers Mt. Rainier one of the greatest accomplishments the Lord created. Most days in her free time you will find her curled up with a good book or taking a long walk.
Have your kids ever made plans for you without asking first? Mine have, more than once! But a few years ago, one of those “surprise” plans turned into one of the most meaningful Thanksgivings for our family.
Those moments of laughter around the table and story-sharing carried the quiet presence of Jesus, who promises to be close to the brokenhearted.
Our neighbors, a family of four whom our kids had befriended, had recently lost the matriarch of their family. It was going to be their first holiday season without Mom/Grandma, and our kids insisted we invite them and their grandpa to Thanksgiving dinner.
We sent the invitation and didn’t know what to expect. Weeks passed without a response, and I assumed they had made other plans. Then, just two days before Thanksgiving, a text came through: five more people were coming!
Our table wasn’t perfect. We scrambled to get more groceries to make a few more sides. But the house was full of laughter, stories, and a sense of togetherness that no amount of planning could have created. That experience taught me so much about opening my home and my heart to families who are hurting.
Here are five things I learned:
- 1. Do it scared.
Extending an invitation can feel intimidating! You might worry about saying the wrong thing or overstepping. Ask God to fill you with boldness and do it anyway. I quickly sent a text message before I could second-guess myself or my kids. Even if they don’t accept, your invitation tells them you see them, you remember there loved one, and you care. And most importantly, it shows them God sees them, too. - 2. Focus on connection, not perfection.
Our table was crowded! We pulled in extra chairs from the garage, used mismatched plates, and squeezed elbow-to-elbow. And you know what? Nobody cared. What people remember most isn’t how it looked; it’s how they felt. This family was so grateful to have a new memory of a special holiday meal as they started to figure out what their life without Grandma looked like. Those moments of laughter around the table and story-sharing carried the quiet presence of Jesus, who promises to be close to the brokenhearted. - 3. Acknowledge their loss.
It can feel awkward to bring up the person they’re missing, but silence can make the grief feel heavier. Talk about their loved one. Almost all grieving people I’ve encountered love an opportunity to talk about and remember the person they’ve lost. Ask about their favorite holiday memories. If there’s time, ask ahead of time if there’s a special family recipe you can include with the meal. - 4. Let the invitation be open-handed.
There is a man in our community who is divorced and has difficult relationships with his grown children. He, too, is hurting and spends the holidays alone. For several years now we have invited him to join us, and he always politely declines. However, a small but significant step was taken last year. He accepted an invitation to come over after our meal and pick up a plate of leftovers to take home. We got to chat with him for a while and celebrate after the meal was done. There are many forms of grief, and the last thing we want to do is place pressure on someone in pain. Extending an open-handed invitation without expectation creates space for them to join if and when they are ready. It’s a beautiful reminder of God’s own invitation to us: always open, always patient, always full of grace. - 5. Keep checking in after the holidays.
Grief doesn’t follow a calendar. Sometimes the hardest days come after the big holidays, when everyone else has moved on. Keep inviting, keep texting, keep showing up. Presence in the days and weeks after is just as powerful as during the holiday itself.
That Thanksgiving reminded me that hospitality is less about the table and more about the heart around it. When we create space at our tables for those who are grieving, we’re doing more than sharing a meal. We are sharing the love of God in a tangible way, making room for Holy Spirit to comfort and heal. You don’t need the perfect meal or a Pinterest-worthy home to share the love of Jesus and help someone feel seen. All you need is a willing heart and an open door, and God will do the rest.
About the Author
Katie Thompson is the executive pastor at Desert Streams Church in Southern California, where her husband, Levi, serves as lead pastor. When she’s not pastoring, she’s running her bookkeeping business, leading as CFO at a wellness center, or wrangling kids and backyard chickens. She’s convinced coffee makes everything better, family adventures are non-negotiable, and the beach is one of God’s best ideas.
Recently, at an Alpha leaders’ meeting at our church, someone asked, “What does relevant ministry look like in today’s culture?” I think I decoded that question as “How do we effectively create Christ followers in a way that is relevant for today?” Cultural shifts, digital saturation, and generational expectations have reshaped the ministry landscape. Yet, helping people find and follow Jesus remains our mission. Jesus’ call to “go and make disciples” hasn’t changed—but the environment in which we fulfill that call certainly has.
I would like to share five thoughts on how we can effectively disciple in today’s world, the first two being observations on the state of our culture and the final three being suggestions for how we can minister in relevant ways in this culture.
1. We are being shaped by our culture’s digital fluidity and fluency.
We are living in an age of rapid digital transformation. Platforms change. Trends shift. Everyone has a voice AND everyone is selling you something. The result? People are overwhelmed with content and unsure of what’s even real anymore.
News, opinions, and even personal milestones unfold in real time, framed through algorithms and filtered bias. We’re not just consuming content; we’re being shaped by it. And just when we’ve adapted to one platform (remember Facebook?), a new one arises, demanding more of our time and attention.
Why it matters: Discipleship today must cut through the noise. We can’t just add to the information pile; we must offer something real, relational, and rooted in truth.
2. Despite being more “connected” than ever, people are starving for genuine relationships.
People may be connected and engaged in a myriad of conversations, but they lack authenticity and real community.My adopted daughter, for example, grieved the loss of our dog not by turning to close family or friends but by posting online and receiving brief, surface-level sympathy. She devoured those one-liners, but they didn’t satisfy her deep need for comfort and true compassion.
This is the paradox of the present: constant connection without true community.
Why it matters: Discipleship flourishes in authentic relationships. We must move past content delivery to heart-level engagement.
Yes, I know there is more to observe about today’s culture than these two aspects, but this is a good starting point to start structuring our ministries to multiply Christ followers in our current context. Now let’s look at a few practical ways we can do that.
3. Prioritize relational discipleship.
Digital influence may shape opinions, but it doesn’t form character. What forms a disciple is being seen, known, and challenged in the context of real relationships. Discipleship today needs to happen “eyeball to eyeball.” People are more likely to engage today not by having an expert stand up front and tell them the “answers” but by sitting in a circle, in a transparent and safe environment where they are safe to explore the questions, parse the information, AND where they can be mentored by people who model authentic faith. These mentors need to “do life together” with them so that they can provide consistent care and support.
Jesus modeled this beautifully. He didn’t just teach the crowds; He lived life with His disciples. His method was both invitational (“Come, follow me”) and challenging (“Take up your cross”).
Practical Steps:
• Think small: Build organic small groups that foster vulnerability and trust.
• Pair new believers with mature Christians who are willing to “do life together.”
• Create safe spaces for honest questions and struggles without judgment.
Discipleship isn’t about having all the answers; it’s about walking together toward Jesus.
4. Move from information to transformation.
The reality is that people don’t want or need more information; Google and AI have given us all the information of the ages at our fingertips. But here’s the catch: information alone doesn’t transform lives. True discipleship must bridge the gap between knowing about God and being transformed by Him. This means shifting the focus from merely imparting biblical knowledge to fostering genuine spiritual growth and life change.
Practical Steps:
• Encourage spiritual disciplines like PB & J (Prayer, Bible reading and Journaling/Meditation) into daily rhythms.
• Propose application-oriented questions: What is God saying to me and what am I going to do about it? How will this inform my decisions and change my actions this week?
• Share stories of personal transformation to make faith tangible.
The goal isn’t smarter Christians; it’s surrendered lives.
5. Make discipleship practical and missional.
Discipleship must extend beyond study and conversation. Jesus sent His disciples out. They learned by doing. In today’s world, hands-on faith matters more than ever.
Mission trips, community outreach, and acts of justice and mercy aren’t just good deeds, they’re discipleship labs. I like to say that “Ministry is simply an excuse for discipleship.” It’s in the doing that faith is tested, stretched, and refined.
Practical Steps:
• Involve disciples in regular service projects and real-world ministry.
• Help people discover their gifts and put them to work in their communities, not just inside the walls of the church
• Reflect on service together: What did God show you as you served others?
Missional discipleship reminds us that faith isn’t just personal, it’s participatory
Final Thought: Never forget the role of the Holy Spirit.
Disciple-making is a divine partnership. Strategies, programs, and best practices are helpful, but only God transforms hearts. Prayer must be our starting point and our sustaining power.
Pray for those you lead. Ask the Holy Spirit to guide, convict, and empower. And trust that the seeds you plant, even in today’s challenging soil, are in good hands.
Now is a great time for ministry!
Gary Khan was born on the island of Trinidad in the Caribbean. He moved to America when he was twenty to pursue his education and calling to be a pastor. He met his wife DeLaine at Eugene Bible College (now New Hope Christian College) and upon their graduation, they were married and began working at Desert Streams Church in Santa Clarita, CA. After thirty-two years as a pastor, Gary became an Executive Director of Operations for Marketplace Chaplains. He is the author of devotionals including Reset and Greater and his most recent book, That Didn’t Turn Out the Way I Thought.
