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Losing Lisa
Published
2 years agoon
By Chris Hansler
Lisa and I knew each other since we were five years old because she was my best friend’s little sister. We began dating after I finished high school, got married in the summer of 1985, and were married for 36 years.
February 14, 2022, was our fortieth Valentine’s Day together; it was also the last night I would be with her. The breast cancer, which we thought she had beaten in late 2020 after aggressive treatment that included chemotherapy, a bilateral mastectomy, and radiation, had returned with a vengeance in October of 2021. That was when we received the shocking prognosis that she had maybe up to two to five years left. The sickness had shown up as a collapsed lung caused by fluid on her lungs. We then learned that the cancer had spread to lymph nodes throughout her abdomen. The decline was quick and difficult. I had to drain fluid from both of her lungs twice daily. She soon lost her ability to get around, and then she lost her appetite. She fought for her life and believed like she always had. We prayed (as did hundreds of friends and family) and the doctors did everything they could to extend her life. But on the morning of February 15, after a moment of prayer and an exchange of “I love yous” between her and me and our kids, Lisa peacefully went to be with Jesus.
The fact that the cancer had returned stunned us, but even so we thought we had a little more time. Instead, I found myself without my person. It was difficult to wrap my mind around the reality of the loss.
Everything is different: preparing and eating a meal; going for a walk; taking a work trip and not having her text or call me on the way or at the end of the day; coming home to an empty house; watching a television show; going to church; talking with our kids; discussing ideas, dreams, frustrations, funny or quirky happenings; going to bed; waking up. Everything is different.
People have assured me along the way that “it will get better.” I know what they mean by that: I will not have as many meltdowns. I will get back into a normal routine. I’ll be able to function “better” than I did earlier in the grieving process. And that is true. But the reality will not be better. Now, seven months later, it doesn’t feel any “better” without her than it did shortly after losing her because I feel even further away from her now. No, it isn’t better; it is just more familiar, though it is an unwelcome familiarity. But there have been some things that have been helpful to me:
- Journaling the journey. Writing helps me process my thoughts, so I set up a blog where I do just that. It isn’t a blog intended to inspire or teach. These are my personal psalms and lamentations.
- Seeking counseling. I have met consistently with a counselor for many years, and in this season, he has been a treasure. I am a firm believer that every pastor should have access to a counselor whom they can check in with at least once per year.
- Staying close to my family. Nobody understands or shares this season like my family. And in those relationships we can be completely ourselves – the good, the bad, and the ugly – without worrying about what the other might think.
- Accepting the genuine love of people. Psalm 34:18 (NASB) says, “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted.” I have sensed His profound, abiding presence even in the darkest and saddest moments. But one of the most prominent ways He has shown He is near is through the kindness, generosity, thoughtfulness, and care of His people. We have been overwhelmed with notes, gift cards, flowers, meals, and simple quiet presence. All of this has been a beautiful testimony of Jesus to my family and me.
- Re-engaging. After I lost Lisa, I took a leave of absence from work for a few weeks. In a weird way, going back to work felt almost like betrayal – as though I were moving on without her. But going back to work, re-focusing my attention and energy, and being around people has been a helpful part of the healing process. I have also started a master’s program. There have been so many times when I haven’t felt like re-engaging or being around people. Church, and for me worship in particular, is a very emotional time. And while it would be easy to simply avoid it, instead I chose to join our worship team. At times I have stood on the stage playing my guitar with tears in my eyes, but if church isn’t a safe place for that to happen then we have misunderstood the purpose of the body of Christ.
There are also some things I am learning in this journey.
- I need to lean into my emotion. Lisa would frequently say to me, “Of course it doesn’t bother you because you have no feelings!” 😊 But oh, how the emotions have come! And while it is tempting to bury or hide the emotions, that would not be helpful either to me or to others. If the Psalms do anything, they give permission to our emotions.
- I need Jesus. Every day, more than ever, I need to be with Jesus. I have always valued solitude and getting away (often to the mountains). But now that Lisa is gone and my kids are all out on their own, I am alone frequently and the house is quiet. I know that some of you reading this with busy lives and noisy kids may think that sounds like a dream! But I’ve realized something: alone is not the same as solitude; quiet is not the same as silence; inactivity is not the same as stillness. There is an intentionality to our time with and awareness of Jesus. And more than ever I need times in solitude with Jesus, in listening silence, and to be still to know that He is God.
It is important for me to say that I am not through this. I don’t know what that even looks like. It’s been only seven months and before me are the holidays, our anniversary, and then the one-year anniversary of her death. Part of why we as evangelicals/Pentecostals are so bad at lament is because we feel that faith demands we move on. As leaders we feel pressure to put a bow on it and share a profound culminating truth. But as followers of Jesus, we are all somewhere between reality and realized hope. And while we don’t grieve as those who have no hope, we cannot rush the grieving. Nonetheless, I’m convinced that God is okay with our questions. I know that Jesus sits with us through the process. It’s tempting even now for me to wrap this up like the end of a story. But if you have lost someone and are not yet through grieving and you haven’t discovered the answer or haven’t yet realized the hope you have been waiting on, that’s okay too. Jesus will sit with you through it.
About the Author
Chris Hansler serves as the Regional Executive Director for the Pacific Region. He has diverse pastoral and other leadership experience, having served as a youth leader, church planting pastor, and as the former director of Discover Church Planting. Chris has a passion to identify, encourage, equip, and release individuals to serve the mission of Jesus through the local church. He and his late wife, Lisa, are the parents of three grown children: Robert, Johnathan, and Angela.
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Forever a New Creation: How God Led Me from Refugee Roots to a Life of Mission
Published
3 days agoon
December 20, 2024The diaspora of the Tai Dam refugees in 1975 to Des Moines, Iowa, fueled a first generation of Tai Dam Americans adapting to new ways of life, blending language, culture, and embracing the numerous opportunities in the US. I was part of that first generation. Three years after my parents’ settlement in Iowa, I was born and became the first in my family to acquire an American education and step into a church. We were blessed to have Christian sponsors who helped us transition from our homeland to America.
Every Sunday, our sponsors would take me, my sister, and several of my cousins to church service at the First Church of the Open Bible. Naomi Young was one of the many people who was significant in my life; she gave me my first Bible. Through the faithfulness of Naomi and others at the church, seeds of faith were planted as I was told about a man named Jesus who died on the cross for me. I was curious, but I did not understand and did not accept Him into my life at that time. Attending church was short-lived, coming to a halt when I was eight years old. The seed that was planted in me could not grow because it was never nourished with Truth at home. My parents and grandmother believed and practiced animism and ancestral worship, which is the veneration and honoring of the dead. Confusion infiltrated my mind, and my desire to attend church ceased. While I abandoned everything that was taught to me in Sunday school, I always kept my Bible in a special place underneath my pillow because something in my heart could not throw it away.
When I was twenty-two years old, my cousin took me to a Buddhist temple to have my fortune read. There, sitting in front of me, were three monks. One monk opened his notebook, wrote in it, then read to me my childhood, present life, and future life story up to the time I would turn thirty years old. He then shut his notebook and told me, “I am done.” When I asked him, “Why?” he told me only, “I cannot read you anymore.” That same week I went to a card reader and had my fortune read. Again, he read my childhood, present life, and up to the age I would be thirty, then stopped. I told him, “You are the second person that could not read me past thirty; tell me – do I die?” He quickly gathered his cards, saying only, “I cannot tell you.”
Throughout my adult life in my twenties, I was in an unhealthy, abusive relationship, which led to an alcohol addiction. When I was twenty-six, I became pregnant and had my daughter, Kaylee, on January 31, 2005. God was already working in my life, and I did not know it; He was molding me and reminding me of who He was through the darkest moments of my life. Around that time, I came upon a childhood friend who worked as a cashier at Hy-Vee; she would tell me, “Soukham, God is so good.” Though I resisted, the words she spoke over me resonated in my heart. Not long after, I found myself attending her funeral. Worship and praise were included in the Christian service. I was confused, but a part of me had the desire to know more about the God they said was so good and how through Him there would be no more pain and suffering. When I left the funeral, the Lord continued to reveal Himself to me through divine encounters. In July of 2008, I took a position at Nationwide Insurance where I reconnected with an old high school friend. She invited me to a Thanksgiving potluck at her church, and my walk with the Lord began soon after.
I was thirty years old when I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior. The verse that will remain with me forever is 2 Corinthians 5:17: “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!” (NIV).
Now I understand why the monk and card reader could not read my life past the age of thirty. At that age, I became a new creation because of Jesus Christ, and the enemy no longer had a hold on me! Jesus continued to bless me and my daughter. Amid my pain and struggles, God brought a man into my life, my husband Othone (Pong), who became a father to Kaylee. We got married on September 15, 2010. Together the Lord blessed us with two more children, Isaac and Silas. In 2017, the Lord called us to serve in Iowa at Kingdom Life Church (now Kingdom City Church).
In November 2021, the Lord instilled in Pong’s heart a dream to build a charitable foundation to address needs in the vulnerable communities of Southeast Asia. The foundation would have a Christ-centered vision: to make and equip future disciples, providing them with sustainable resources and empowering them to advance beyond their current situation. Through continuous prayer and the Lord’s guidance, the foundation was born in April 2023 and officially named Nations in Need (NIN). Recently in 2023 and 2024, the Lord took Pong, Kaylee, and three of our brothers, Ap, Peng, and Bay, on trips to Southeast Asia where they built relationships, served the communities, ministered to the people, and spread the good news about Jesus Christ. Today, NIN has branched into multiple communities in Southeast Asia. Through the work of a future center in Southeast Asia, we will expand NIN’s mission and go wherever the Lord leads.
Throughout my whole life God has carried me, even when I didn’t know it. From the Tai Dam little girl who was born in America and met Jesus in an Iowan church, to the woman who is now taking the hope of Christ back to Southeast Asia, His hand has been in every chapter of my story. Whether the next chapter is in America, Southeast Asia, or somewhere else, I will follow Christ, forever His new creation.
About the Author
Soukham Khanthavixay
Soukham Khanthavixay and her husband, Pong, are active members of Kingdom City Church in Des Moines, Iowa. They reside in Pleasant Hill, Iowa, with their three children and two dogs. Soukham is a registered nurse at a local county hospital and also works for Nations in Need (NIN), the ministry her husband founded. Her family and ministry team work together to expand the mission of NIN and spread the gospel. To learn more about Nations in Need, follow them on Facebook or Instagram: @nationsinneed.
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Joining the Family and Spreading the News
Published
2 months agoon
November 1, 2024By
Rob BraySpirit and Truth Church began as a dream amidst the stormy backdrop of January 2021, during the COVID-19 pandemic. Despite the challenges that the world faced, we found ourselves thriving, anchored by the belief that God’s plans always prevail. As we say on our website, we are passionate about helping people “find freedom in the fullness” of both the Spirit and the Word. This foundational vision has carried us through times of uncertainty and propelled us forward.
Yet, for all our successes, we reached a point where we felt like we were on an island—thriving, yes, but lacking the covering, coaching, counsel, and care that every church needs to flourish long term. In 2022, at the first MOVEMENT conference, God spoke directly to my heart, telling me that Spirit and Truth Church was meant to be part of the Open Bible Church family. This call was a turning point for our ministry. In 2023, I was credentialed through Open Bible Churches, and in February of this year (2024), we became officially affiliated with Open Bible Churches’ Mountain Plains region. Since then, the blessings have been immense.
Being part of Open Bible has been transformative for us. We have received so much investment, training, and support. Open Bible has helped us shore up essential aspects of our ministry: leadership, organization, staffing, budget, facilities, and more. Our growth has been remarkable—we’ve doubled in size, growing from 60 to 120 regular attendees in the past year. This growth, I believe, is a testament to both the godly covering of Open Bible and the Spirit-led outreaches we engage in. Our church has a culture of lifestyle evangelism and hospitality where all our members are witnesses and welcomers. In addition, we have forged strategic partnerships with other ministries.
One of the most exciting partnerships we have is with Every Heart Tours, a ministry led by fiery, Jesus-loving college students from Michigan. These students come to stay with us for a week at a time, engaging in outdoor worship outreaches and “prophetic treasure hunts.” If you’re unfamiliar with this term, a prophetic treasure hunt is an evangelistic practice where participants ask the Holy Spirit to reveal specific details about people they will meet, and then they go into the community to find these “treasures.” It’s a beautiful, Spirit-led adventure allowing us to partner with God and minister to people in our city in a unique way. We’ve seen so many lives touched and transformed through these treasure hunts.
One of the most powerful testimonies from these outreaches happened this summer (2024). We had a team of prophetic ministers giving specific words to people as we worshipped in Fort Collins Old Town square. We preached the gospel boldly, and by the end of the night eleven people made the decision to be baptized! We walked down to the Poudre River and witnessed the supernatural power of God as they went under the water and came up renewed. It was a moment that felt like the early church, where “the Lord added to their number daily” (Acts 2:47 NIV).
Of course, ministry isn’t always easy. We’ve faced rejection and opposition. But we hold firm to the truth of Romans 1:16: “For I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God that brings salvation to everyone who believes.” The harvest is plentiful, and we’ve seen this reality unfold before our eyes. As we continue to partner with ministries, step out in faith, and preach the gospel, we trust that God will continue to bring more people into His kingdom.
Our journey with Open Bible has been a testimony to God’s faithfulness. What started as a small church plant in Northern Colorado has since grown into a vibrant community reflecting the heart of God for His people. We remain committed to spreading the good news and making sure outreach and evangelism are at the heart of our ministry. The harvest is ready, Open Bible fam – let’s go bring it in!
About the Author
Rob Bray
Rob Bray is a marketplace and ministry leader with over a decade of experience in both business and church contexts. He is the founder and lead pastor of Spirit + Truth Church, an Open Bible Church in the Mountain Plains Region. Rob has catalyzed successful companies, grown healthy ministries, and spoken at influential conferences, workshops, and events. Rob’s expertise and passion have made him a trusted advisor and coach for leaders and entrepreneurs seeking breakthroughs in multiple areas including life, marriage, and business. Rob and his wife Bethany live on their homestead in Fort Collins, CO, with their six children: Nehemiah, Nora, Noelle, Neely, Nayla, and Nicholas. In their spare time, they enjoy hiking, paddle boarding, and snowboarding.
As we approach another election season, we find ourselves once again in an environment bringing tension, division, and uncertainty to people, including those within the Church. It is during times like this, however, that we as the Church can shine brightly. In the face of debates, advertisements, and news that may stir anxiety, we have a divine opportunity to anchor people to the unchanging hope of Christ.
The apostle Paul instructs us that “our citizenship is in heaven” (Phil. 3:20 NIV), and as followers of Christ, our ultimate allegiance is to God and His kingdom. While politics does have its importance and influence, it is reassuring to know our hope is not based upon human leaders or systems but in the Lord who reigns over all.
There is no question that, as followers of Christ, we should engage in our civic duties with a kingdom-minded perspective and a biblical worldview. We vote, we pray for our leaders, we seek the welfare of our communities (Jer. 29:7), and we engage others with love. And as we do all of this, we hold to the truth that God’s sovereignty transcends the outcomes of elections.
In times that seem unstable or fragile, God’s Word tells us “we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken” (Heb.12:28). We serve an “unshakable kingdom.” Governments change, leaders come and go, and through it all, God’s kingdom remains. It is unshakable, eternal, and built upon His righteousness and justice. No election can alter the reality of God’s sovereignty nor shake the foundation of His authority. It is His church that holds the keys to unlock heaven on earth and bring light to the darkness.
Here is the reality we stand upon: It is God who “controls the course of world events; He removes kings and sets up other kings” (Dan. 2:21 NLT), and “the king’s heart is in the hand of the Lord” (Prov. 21:1 KJV).
Because of this truth, we can embrace Paul’s word to the Philippians: “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus” (Phil. 4:6-7 NLT). Based on this passage, if we are a people of prayer who walk in faith, seek God’s wisdom, and are grateful, THEN we know we will experience a peace that goes beyond natural understanding. I am reminded, comforted, and convinced of this truth, and it is an anchor to my soul.
This November’s election will be followed in December by the celebration of Christ’s birth. What a perfect time to remember that Jesus is Emmanuel – God with us. This name, given to Jesus, is more than just a title; it is a promise that no matter what happens around us, God’s presence is constant and unchanging.
Whether the outcome of the election brings joy or disappointment, whether policies align with your hopes or create concerns, remember Emmanuel – God is with us. He is present in our churches, in our communities, in our families, and in our lives. He is not distant or disconnected; He is personally and actively involved in the lives of His people. Whoever is elected and however people respond – God still sits on the throne, His Kingdom is unshakable, and His plans are unstoppable. GOD IS WITH US.
Some practical steps for consideration:
- Pray for our leaders, regardless of who they are: Pray for their wisdom, discernment, and a spirit of humility.
- Stay united as the body of Christ: Let a heart of unity, love, and the bond of peace be what others see.
- Keep an eternal perspective: Engage in the political process, but keep your eyes fixed on Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith.
- Live out the things that will remain: faith, hope and love.
About the Author
Michael Nortune
Michael Nortune serves as president of Open Bible Churches. He has ministered in the local church faithfully for 35 years. From his start as a janitor and groundskeeper to lead pastor of Life Church in Concord, California, Michael has had the opportunity to gain experience in every capacity within the church throughout his ministry. Not only does he have hands-on experience on the local level, but Michael has also led at the district, regional, and national levels within Open Bible Churches. Michael and his wife Julie currently reside in Colorado and love living near five of their six children and their spouses. They also treasure the time they spend with their other daughter who lives in Alabama with their first (but not the last) grandson!