Spotlight
My Son is Not Going to Die!
By Betty Brown
My son Aaron was diagnosed with a rare liver disease called sclerosing cholangitis when he was age 18 and on his way to study at Liberty University. In those first few years he managed the disease well, amongst many of life’s milestones. In October of 2019 he married Felicia. On July 31, 2021, he and Felicia welcomed their beautiful son, Ezra James, into the world. Both Aaron and Felicia faithfully served in various ministries at the church my husband, Jim, and I pastored, Open Bible Church in Portland, Oregon. In May of 2022, my husband stepped down as senior pastor, and Aaron was appointed to take the lead.
That same year Aaron’s health suffered a setback. Two episodes of Covid 19 wreaked havoc on his system; his health deteriorated to the point that his liver specialist felt it was time for a transplant. We researched facilities for those that boasted the best outcomes and picked Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota.
Having set up an appointment and making the necessary arrangements, including sending Aaron’s records on ahead, we reserved a spot at a local Airbnb to stay during Aaron’s treatment. We were supposed to leave Thursday, October 6, 2022, which was good because for two weeks prior, Aaron had not been feeling well. Our whole family was worried about him. In fact, his brother Timothy had flown in from Mason, Ohio, to be with him until he left for Mayo.
Unfortunately, that Wednesday, while Aaron was leading worship rehearsal at church, he passed out. Timothy caught him and immediately called 911. Aaron did not want to go to the hospital though; he thought he would be fine. However, a couple of hours later he couldn’t breathe. Timothy took him to the hospital in Portland, where he was diagnosed with sepsis and liver failure. Extremely ill, he was placed in ICU.
Friday was a terrible day. We had been in contact with the doctors at Mayo and the Portland ICU doctors. The doctors from Mayo wanted Aaron flown to Rochester. The ICU doctors told me that Aaron was in complete organ failure, that he would already be gone if it were not for his young age.
That did not set well at all with me. I found myself smiling at the doctors, but on the inside, I was breaking down. They were dismissive of me, treating me as if I were a child. They seemed to be saying, “Your son is dying and there is nothing we can do about it. Just accept it.”
After another dire diagnosis from another doctor, I knew I needed to be alone somewhere. I made my way over to a spot next to a window hidden by dozens of wheelchairs where no one could see me, collapsed onto a stool there, and wept.
God! I cried out. I need your help. I need to get my son out of here or he will die.
Then I called Mayo and pleaded with them to help me get Aaron out of Portland.
Finally, I got in contact with a nurse who listened and assured me that she would talk to the head of the liver transplant department there, and she did. Dr. Leise, the director of hepatology, told the nurse to tell the staff in charge at Portland to call him directly.
I accompanied the Portland doctor when she went to a quiet place to call Mayo. I was thinking, “You do not understand. My son is not going to die here!”
When the doctor made the call, I told the operator at Mayo my son’s name. She asked if he had ever been seen at Mayo and if I had a medical record number. When I replied that he did have a medical number, the local doctor was shocked. She looked at me as if to say, “You have a medical record number?” (She apparently hadn’t believed me when I had told her Aaron had already been accepted at Mayo.)
Finally, the Portland doctor and Dr. Leise talked doctor to doctor. It was a very professional conversation; the emotional mother (me!) had been taken out of the equation. Dr. Leise had already reviewed Aaron’s records and asked the local doctor questions related to Aaron medical status, which she quickly answered.
Throughout our stay in the Portland hospital, the medical staff had warned me that Mayo did not have a bed for Aaron. They said there was a shortage of beds all over the country and Mayo was no different.
However, Dr. Leise said, “We want Aaron Brown life-flighted here to Mayo as soon as he is out of ICU.” When he checked on available beds, he was assured that anytime Aaron arrived he would have a bed. Dr. Leise then asked the local doctor to make all the necessary discharge arrangements for Aaron as soon as possible to get him transferred.
God had given us favor! Our local doctor was helpful and immediately began making the arrangements. The other two doctors who had been so dismissive of me never spoke to us again for the rest of our time there.
Early that Monday morning everything proceeded like clockwork. Aaron and I were taken by ambulance to a small medical plane equipped for all types of emergencies. By now my daughter, April, had flown in from California. She, Felicia, and baby Ezra would fly out on a commercial flight later that same day. Everyone had been fighting these past few weeks to keep Aaron from giving up. Now they gathered to see us off. My dear husband, Jim, was isolated at our home, having contracted COVID himself.
April said the best moment of her life was seeing her brother being placed on a stretcher, wheeled out of the hospital where he had been expected to expire, and lifted into the ambulance.
By the time we had boarded the private plane I was exhausted, but my favorite moment was touching down in Rochester. Watching Aaron, I wondered how we would get him from the airport to the clinic. His breathing was so shallow. But the moment I stepped off the plane, I saw a large ambulance coming toward us emblazoned with the Mayo Clinic emblem on the side.
It sunk in: “Mayo sent a private ambulance to get us!” I thought, “Does anyone else think this is the most amazing miracle that God and God alone could have orchestrated?”
The ambulance driver started telling me about Mayo Clinic. I was amazed by the level of attentiveness they convey. They treat you like there is no other patient except you and your family. When we got to a room, the doctor checked in with us. Everything was wonderful. When I saw a picture of Jesus on the wall in the room, I knew we were where we were meant to be.
The next morning around 8:30, eight doctors walked into the room and surrounded Aaron’s bed. They said, “Mr. Aaron Brown, we have been waiting for you!” It was the most amazing feeling.
Because he could walk, they let Aaron stay with Felicia, Ezra, and me at the Airbnb to prevent Aaron from catching any hospital borne infections. Our schedule filled with appointments, and Aaron immediately started getting better.
We met Dr. Watt, the head hematologist at the clinic. She showed amazing concern and told me, “You need to know I am going to do everything I can to advocate for your son to get a liver as soon as possible. Do not worry about this.”
It is hard to get on the transplant list. People can stay on these lists for months, but Aaron was so sick that he quickly went to the top of the list. Even so, we did not immediately get a call. Since Aaron was so young, they wanted to make sure he received a liver from another young person because they wanted it to last a long time.
Several weeks later, at 5:25 a.m. on Tuesday, December 6, we received the call we had been waiting for; a liver was being flown in. We needed to be at the clinic within the hour. I called everyone I could think of to pray, and that same day Aaron got his new liver. The transplant went well, and after three more weeks we were able to fly back home to Oregon in time for New Year’s Eve.
This whole experience has been such an amazing miracle. Every single week Aaron must have his blood drawn and sent to Mayo. As of the day this testimony was written, January 25, 2023, every single liver enzyme has been normal, and he has gained over twenty pounds!
People should never give up! We went from being instructed in October to prepare for Aaron’s death to being told in December and again in January that his liver enzymes were all headed in the right direction. So many people prayed, and we are grateful for God’s favor. Otherwise, we would still be in Minnesota or at a funeral.
I went to God begging Him to help me. He did!
About the Author
Betty Brown is the wife of Pastor Jim Brown. They have three amazing grown children (Timothy, April, and Aaron) and four absolutely perfect grandkids (Mercy, Grace, Ezra, and Honor). Betty is the executive director of Portland Open Bible Community Pantry and serves in supporting Pastor Aaron and Felicia Brown at Open Bible Church of Portland.
Spiritual direction…hmmm, sounds like what I get from the Holy Spirit when I pray, so why would I need to meet with a spiritual director when I can do this on my own? Seems unnecessary, right? Not to mention, I’m a guy; we never ask for directions.
That was my thinking a few years ago, until the day I got a call from another minister who was training to be a spiritual director. She needed to log a certain number of practice hours to finish her training, and she asked if I would be her “guinea pig.”
The call had “coincidentally” come in the middle of a challenging season; my pastoral duties felt relentless, and I was going through a profound life change. I felt empty inside as I wrestled with a nagging question: “Am I really hearing God clearly?” Unable to talk through my struggle with very many people, I had been feeling spiritually stuck. The person calling was someone I trusted, so I agreed to be a part of her training process. I thought I was helping her out, but little did I know this decision would stand as a cornerstone of my spiritual and mental health moving forward.
Spiritual direction is like having a wonderful (dare I say, sacred) friend who walks alongside you and gently guides you to notice and respond to the presence of God in your life.
Spiritual direction is like having a wonderful (dare I say, sacred) friend who walks alongside you and gently guides you to notice and respond to the presence of God in your life. Believe it or not, even the best of us can miss Him in the middle of our emotional and mental upheavals. Unlike traditional counseling or mentorship, spiritual direction focuses on deepening our relationship with God, helping us become more aware of His presence in our everyday experiences.
A Transformative Encounter: Experiencing the Father Three Ways
There’s one spiritual direction session that particularly stands out in my mind. My mom had just passed away, and my dad was in the final stages of his life. It had been a tough year of loss, and I was doing my best to keep it together. As I shared with my spiritual director, she made a suggestion. She said, “Gary, take the next ten minutes to sit before the Father and ask Him what He wants to say to you in this season.”
I muted the microphone, sat in silence, and stared out the window of my office into my backyard. It was a beautiful day, and the wind was rustling through the trees. Things moving by some unseen force. As I sat there, God reminded me of three snapshots (memories) with my dad. The first was a memory of being at the beach with him when I was four and his taking me into the deep water. I remember protesting that I didn’t want to go out there but also feeling safe because I was held tightly in my father’s arms. The second was a memory of when I was twenty and we took a trip together. It was on that trip that I felt my father, through his actions, take his mantle of authority and leadership and place it on my shoulders. The third snapshot wasn’t a true memory but a glimpse into the future. I was about to visit my dad in a month – it was to say goodbye as he was in the final stages of life on earth. My agenda was simple: I was just going to spend time with Dad.
In those pictures, with the wind blowing through the trees, the Father used my father to help me encounter Him. I’ll never forget the three things God whispered to me as I pondered those three snapshots:
Gary, I’m with you; you’re safe.
Gary, I’ve given you everything you need to fulfill what I’ve called you to do; I trust you.
Gary, all I desire is for you to spend time with me and enjoy my presence.
Those past and future joys were a reminder from my heavenly Father that I could take the path ahead because He was with me. I’m not sure I would have had such a profound experience had it not been for the preceding conversation with my spiritual director and our subsequent debrief.
Integrating Spiritual Direction into Pastoral Ministry
Moments in this and following sessions have been a game changer for me, helping me become a better leader and follower. I now approach decisions with a greater sense of grounding, choosing to rely on prayerful discernment and feedback from someone who’s spiritually mature and not emotionally tied to the situations. I’ve also learned to listen better, not just to God but also to people.
Spiritual direction has been a transformative experience for me, helping me grow both personally and professionally.
Spiritual direction has also been a huge help with my mental health. Regular sessions provide a sanctuary from the incessant demands of ministry and allow me to process those stressors in a safe context. I’ve learned to be more resilient, thanks to the reflective exploration of my spiritual journey, and I feel more balanced and purposeful.
If you’re a minister who hasn’t tried spiritual direction yet, I highly recommend it. Here are a few things to keep in mind:
- Find a spiritual director who’s trained to help others on their spiritual journey.
- Make sure you prioritize regular meetings. Consistent engagement allows for a deeper unfolding of your spiritual narrative and allows for sustained growth.
- Be open and vulnerable. Don’t be afraid to talk about the good and bad parts of your spiritual life.
Spiritual direction has been a transformative experience for me, helping me grow both personally and professionally. Remember, we all need help sometimes.
About the Author
Gary Kahn
Gary Khan was born on the island of Trinidad in the Caribbean. He moved to America when he was twenty to pursue his education and calling to be a pastor. He met his wife DeLaine at Eugene Bible College (now New Hope Christian College) and upon their graduation, they were married and began working at Desert Streams Church in Santa Clarita, CA. After thirty-two years as a pastor, Gary became an Executive Director of Operations for Marketplace Chaplains. He is the author of devotionals including Reset and Greater and his most recent book, That Didn’t Turn Out the Way I Thought.
On the fifth day of creation, our wonderful God showed himself in a brand new way. He began to create the living creatures that walk among us. This expression of His creation has shown itself throughout history; from Noah’s dove, to Balaam’s donkey, to Jonah’s whale and Daniel’s lions, God has continued to use animals in His grand plan and purpose.
We can still use these animals as a metaphor for God’s love and guidance. One notable example comes from Bob Sjogren’s book Cat and Dog Theology: “A dog says, ‘You pet me, you feed me, you shelter me, you love me, you must be God.’ A cat says, ‘You pet me, you feed me, you shelter me, you love me, I must be God.’”
As true as this may be, something wonderful happens when the molds break.
[God] certainly doesn’t want to drag us from one destination to the next. He would rather we follow Him willingly, eager to remain in His presence.
In our family, we recently experienced an interesting phenomenon when it came to our pets. To understand the story better, you need to understand our animals. Ralphie is our young, spirited Maltipoo. He has never met a stranger he didn’t love. He is sweet, loyal and in many ways the ideal companion.
Then we have our chihuahua, Sally. We found Sally roaming our neighborhood in 2014 with no tags and no microchip. She had obviously been mistreated, and when I took her to the vet, they found so many things wrong with her that I was advised, “Don’t be in a huge hurry to find her owner.”
We cleaned Sally up, and two weeks later she was legally ours. While she is affectionate to us and our kids, to this day, if I lift my hand to give her a pat on the head, she winces as if I am going to hit her (something I have never done and never intend to do).
Ralphie and Sally’s unique natures show themselves on our nightly walk around the neighborhood.
Ralphie tries his hardest to pull on the leash and run ahead. He so desperately wants to lead whoever is holding the leash that he nearly chokes himself on his collar. (We’ve had to switch to a harness.) He is unaware that he is only eight pounds, and his actions make little to no difference in the direction we are going.
Sally, however, must be practically dragged throughout the walk. She is timid and afraid to take a step that she isn’t sure is safe.
It’s quite a sight to have such different dogs reacting to the same thing.
Witnessing this phenomenon gave me pause, and I couldn’t help but think what a picture this is for the diverse ways we respond to the Holy Spirit’s leading in our lives.
So many people are like Ralphie. They try to tell God where they want to go without any regard to His guidance. They would rather choke themselves on their own will than listen to what He has to say. Others are like Sally and struggle to fully trust the Lord. For them to move, the Holy Spirit must practically drag them to the next place.
It sounds like a simple premise, but so many followers of God fall into these two opposite extremes. People miss their destinies when they act like Ralphie and Sally.
But there is another pet in our household whom I have not told you about. His name is Caesar, and he is an old, wise cat. We got Caesar the year we were married, and he lived up to his noble name every chance he got. Years ago, on our nightly walks with the dogs, Caesar began doing something amazing.
By his own free will, he would simply follow us on our walks. No need for a leash. No need for us to coax him. He just followed our gentle guidance every night for the mere purpose of being with us. Every now and then we would have to call his name, but he was always nearby.
I believe that in a world full of Ralphies and Sallys, God would rather we be like Caesar. The Lord doesn’t want us to tell Him where we are going rather than let Him lead, and He certainly doesn’t want to drag us from one destination to the next. He would rather we follow Him willingly, eager to remain in His presence.
In Matthew 8:18-22, two men express a desire to follow Jesus. The first is overly eager, not knowing what he is getting himself into. Jesus gives him a stern warning, explaining that he doesn’t know what he’s asking. The second man hesitates and says he needs to bury his father first. We never learn the fate of either man, but I hope they both abandoned their natural tendencies and learned to faithfully follow.
Whether you struggle with being too aggressive on your journey with God or whether you’re entirely too scared to take another step, I believe we can all grow in learning to be led
After sixteen years of being our cat, Caesar died peacefully this past March, but not before we had gotten a kitten named CJ. CJ is full of life and extremely playful. She was always so intrigued by our old friend Caesar that she started following him everywhere he went, even if it meant a walk around our neighborhood.
Caesar indirectly made a disciple with our young kitten, who now follows us on our walks every night. Despite how aggressive Ralphie wants to be or how timid Sally is, we now have CJ, just following along wherever we go.
Whether you struggle with being too aggressive on your journey with God or whether you’re entirely too scared to take another step, I believe we can all grow in learning to be led. If we will stay close to Jesus, we cannot help but fulfill His destiny for our lives.
About the Author
Bill Francavilla
Bill Francavilla is the lead pastor at Living Hope, an Open Bible church in Williamsburg, Virginia. Having lived in Virginia nearly his entire life, he attended Lynchburg College, where he studied history and theater. In 2017 Bill received his master’s degree in theological studies from Liberty University. He has been active in missions to Mexico, Dominican Republic, and Cuba. He and his wife, Jessica, have four children: Alex, Liam, Rita Grace, and Gino.
I am Shane Blackledge, and my wife Amber and I are the founding pastors of Cultivate Church in St. Louis, Missouri. My story is one of transformation and God’s grace, showing how He can use anyone to build His kingdom.
I was born in Colorado at the Air Force Academy Hospital. My father served in the Vietnam War, and while stationed in Taiwan, he met my mother and they got married. When I was six, my parents separated, and my mother moved back to Taiwan, leaving me devastated. As a kid, I faced racism and extreme poverty. I battled depression, anxiety, and thoughts of suicide. I started smoking and drinking at eight years old, joined a gang at age thirteen, and was using meth daily by the time I was fourteen.
At age seventeen, I was arrested and sentenced to thirty years in prison for selling drugs. I found myself in my jail cell wanting to end it all. On my night stand I found a Gideon Bible, and I opened it right to John 3:16. As I sat there reading, I realized I was a sinner, but that God created me and I had a purpose to live. I repented and asked Jesus to forgive me. I felt the Father’s love and the presence of the Holy Spirit in an indescribable way.
After my release, I struggled transitioning back into society (finding a job, paying rent, and finding a church that would accept me). I was discouraged and soon relapsed on meth. During the years of my addiction, I was sent to five prisons and was incarcerated for over six years. In 2006, after nearly dying from an overdose, I woke up from a coma and realized God had saved me from death. That day I fully surrendered to Christ, and that’s when my real transformation began.
In 2006, after nearly dying from an overdose, I woke up from a coma and realized God had saved me from death
God restored what addiction had taken from me. I have now been clean from meth for seventeen years. In 2013, I married Amber. We started attending Waverly Life Church, served as youth leaders, and eventually started a Celebrate Recovery program. In 2022, God called us to plant Cultivate Church in St. Louis, Missouri. We resigned from all ministries and jobs and sold our home. In April of 2023, we started house church gatherings which quickly grew in Christ and numbers. We launched our first Sunday gathering in October of 2023.
Today, we are a church without walls, modeled after the early church in Acts. We have regular church gatherings geared towards discipleship, street ministry, addiction recovery, Christian hip-hop events, prison ministry, and nursing home visits. We work with local treatment centers and recovery programs to support and mentor people. We have partnered with churches and ministries to organize monthly inner-city mission trips.
One way God has used my story is with my podcast: “Kingdom Minded,” which streams into 1000 prisons across the country on over one million inmate tablets. In partnership with the Edovo learning app, the podcast focuses on sharing testimonies and teaching Biblical principles.
Looking back, I am amazed at what God has done. In just a year our church has grown from a small group in our living room to a thriving community, passionate about sharing God’s love. Amber and I are excited about the future. We believe God is just getting started with Cultivate Church.
He can use anyone, even a former addict and convict like me, to build His kingdom.
My story and the story of Cultivate Church are really about God’s faithfulness. He can use anyone, even a former addict and convict like me, to build His kingdom. All the glory goes to Him.
To donate toward our prison ministry and homeless outreach, visit wearecultivatechurch.org or check out our Blessing Bags Gift Registry at HERE.
About the Author
Shane R. Blackledge
Shane R. Blackledge is the co-founder and senior pastor of Cultivate Church. He and his wife Amber started Cultivate Church in their home in 2023. Today, the church is known for spreading the Gospel and being the church without walls. Shane’s podcast, “Kingdom Minded,” is available in over 1000 prisons on inmate tablets on the Edovo Learning App. Through testimonies and Bible principles, the podcast aims to teach, inspire, and equip Christians to live their best life now. Shane is an author and speaker, and his books From Prison to Purpose and Overcoming Codependency are available on Amazon. Shane and Amber have four children and live in St. Louis, Missouri.
