Spotlight
Don’t Say No for Them
By Nate Beaird
I can’t remember who gave me this advice, but it’s served me well: “Don’t say no for someone else.” In life we say “no” for people all the time. We do it whenever we are so sure someone will say no to a request we might have that we don’t even bother to ask. We convince ourselves that the other person will refuse our request or maybe even be offended by it, so we never ask. As a result, that great idea, opportunity, event, or possibility never happens.
It won’t always work out for you, but I can’t even tell you how many times simply asking (or proposing an offer) has worked in my favor. In my last couple “real” jobs I would regularly suggest ideas to our team that would involve other people helping us achieve a goal. At first I was met with skepticism that other people (specifically professionals outside our non-profit organization) would oblige. I would say, “Don’t say no for them. This [proposal] is the best solution, so I will ask. If they say no, we’ll go to plan B.” More times than not, we were surprised at people’s willingness to help us.
As an example, when I worked in the national office for Open Bible Churches, we would schedule planning meetings for the upcoming issues of the Message of the Open Bible. High quality photos are key to a good user experience in the media, so we needed high resolution images to accompany articles. For one issue we needed a cover-worthy photo of a person from another city who was the subject of one of our articles, but we didn’t have the budget to fly a full-time photographer to the site and do a shoot. I floated the idea that we search online for a photographer located in that person’s city who we thought fit our style and needs, and then ask him or her if they would be interested in providing us our needed photo. They would get credit in print, a copy of the print magazine with their featured photo, and a charitable donation receipt for the value of their photo shoot.
Every time I feel the Lord leading me to do something different, seemingly crazy or intimidating, I remember that He has already gone before me. If He has genuinely called me, He’ll pick up my slack. Not only that, but (catch this part) He has gone before me to cultivate the hearts and minds of those I will encounter in this new scary thing He’s asked me to do.
On the surface this proposal seemed crazy. Even my coworkers, who were not closed-minded people by any means, weren’t sure it would work. I wasn’t either. However, I didn’t want to say no for an aspiring photographer that would love to have a cover photo, or a successful photographer that needed the tax write-off, or just another Christian that wanted to use his or her gifts for the Kingdom. We would still pay them our allotted budget even if it was just a token of appreciation, not nearly what the photo was worth.
It worked!
We did it several more times. As we communicated with the photographers, it became clear that God had gone before us to prepare them for our request. He cultivated their hearts and minds before our crazy request was ever sent. As a result, more people outside our normal sphere of influence learned about Open Bible and what God was doing through our churches and people, and we obtained quality photography. Can it be true that God works on our behalf to gain favor with others? The answer is yes! Let us not forget that GOD IS FOR US! The Bible is packed with stories about God working in other people’s hearts to bless His people.
One great example is when Nehemiah asked King Artaxerxes to grant him permission not only to take leave to journey home for months, but also to be granted safe passage with royal escort through all the neighboring territories. Then – this is my favorite – he requested that the keeper of the king’s forests would give him the necessary lumber to rebuild the walls of Jerusalem. Free building materials (Nehemiah 2:4-8)! In retrospect, my asking an Instagram photographer to do a short photoshoot doesn’t seem like that big of a deal. Do you think the Lord had been softening the king’s heart toward Nehemiah? No doubt Nehemiah was a good worker and honorable man, but how many times have good workers and honorable men been overlooked? No, God cultivated the heart of the king for years to eventually honor Nehemiah’s request. Every time I feel the Lord leading me to do something different, seemingly crazy or intimidating, I remember that He has already gone before me. If He has genuinely called me, He’ll pick up my slack. Not only that, but (catch this part) He has gone before me to cultivate the hearts and minds of those I will encounter in this new scary thing He’s asked me to do. We’ve all been humbled along the way when we realize how silly we were to put God in a box. Every time I think of that advice I was given years ago, I remember that I have no idea what God has been doing in the background. He’s a master chess player, and He’s probably been setting me up for years without my knowledge. He probably even put that desire in my heart to ask in the first place. So I trust that He is for me, He’s gone ahead, and the doors are already open – not because of anything I’ve done, but because of His goodness and faithfulness. Thankfully for me, He factored in my stupidity. Shame on me for ever doubting the Creator of the Universe. So maybe there’s a permission-giver standing in the way of something you feel God is calling you to do. Here’s some advice we can learn from Nehemiah:
1. Pray.
When Nehemiah learned of the wall’s condition, he repented and prayed. He repented for the Israelites’ actions and practiced humility. It was not until the very last line of the prayer that he asked for God to give him favor with the King, something God had been cultivating for years for this purpose without either the king’s or Nehemiah’s knowledge (Nehemiah 1:4-11).
2. Make a plan for the permission-giver.
Nehemiah considered how long his trip would take, the lands he would have to travel through safely, and how he would have to rebuild the wall once he got there. He crafted a plan BEFORE he ever had the chance to ask the king so that he was ready for the opportunity. No doubt the plan sounded crazy, but you would have to think that the king appreciated the forethought that formed the plan. The king liked Nehemiah, but the sound plan might have sealed the deal. In our photographer illustration, we presented the photographers with a plan that could be a win-win for both of us. We didn’t leave it up to them to come up with a solution for us. In your own situation, this could mean devising a plan for your employer so he or she could give you a more flexible schedule or allow you to work from home. Maybe your employer needs to make some changes and your plan is what they’re looking for.
3. Walk in the favor of the Lord!
After the king’s approval, Nehemiah walked in boldness to complete the task. Imagine moving forward with the permission-giver’s support at your back and God preparing the way in front of you. This is walking in favor with the Lord. No doubt you will hit snags. Watch what the Lord does to help in those times because He already knows about that snag. Do you think He has a plan for it? Checkmate.So, if you KNOW God is calling you to do something, pray about it, plan for it, and trust Him for the confidence to accomplish it. What are you missing out on by assuming the outcome of your request? Who knows what God wants to do through you! When you present a request there’s no way of knowing the chances that it will be granted, but when you say no for your permission-giver, you can be sure the chance will be zero. Don’t say no for them!
About the Author
Nate Beaird, founder and owner of Housewolf Projects, attends Journey Church of the Open Bible in Urbandale, Iowa. According to him, his greatest achievement in life is convincing the coolest chick on the planet to marry him! He and Niki are blessed with three amazing kids. Despite peaking early in life, Nate continues to try his best.
Ruth Brauer spent decades wondering about the brother she never got to know. Born with Down Syndrome in the 1960s, he’d been sent away with little explanation, and she was discouraged from asking questions. After years of dead ends, a series of connections only God could have orchestrated led to the reunion she’d been praying for. Sixty years after his birth, Ruth finally saw her brother for the first time.
It was March 1960. Ruth was about to turn seven when her baby brother was born on March 8th at Iowa Methodist Hospital. The excitement of finally having a brother to join her and her three sisters quickly turned to confusion as she was unable to meet him. Later, she learned he had Down Syndrome and that doctors had advised her parents to place him in a care facility at the nearby Woodward State Hospital.
“Back in the sixties, that’s just what you did,” Ruth shared. “But I know it tore my parents apart.”
Questions about Alan were shut down. Ruth didn’t know where he was or even his exact birth date.
“I always wondered about him, but I’d get in trouble when I asked.”
Even without knowing him, Ruth had always felt drawn to him. That compassion shaped much of her life. After being invited to Journey Church in 2016 by a friend, Ruth was especially moved by the church’s outreach events for children with special needs. As a barber, her favorite clients were those with special needs, and she also volunteered for years with the Des Moines Special Olympics.
That’s where the first breakthrough came.
One day, she struck up a deeper conversation with a fellow volunteer named Ray. He mentioned he had worked at Woodward State Hospital starting in 1959. Ruth’s attention snapped into focus.
“My brother was there in 1960! His name was Alan Politsch.”
Ray’s reaction was immediate. His eyes widened and he began to walk away.
“Wait—what did I say?” Ruth called after him.
I had my hand on the table, and suddenly he was holding it.
“I’m not allowed to talk to you,” he replied. “Your parents banned me from talking to you.”
Still, she pressed him for one thing: a birthdate.
“Please, my parents are gone. I just want to find my brother.”
Before the day ended, Ray quietly gave her the month and day. It was enough to start, but not enough to get through the wall of privacy protections. Every group home she contacted turned her away.
Years passed.
Then another door opened—this time at a food pantry. Ruth shared her story with a volunteer named Bob, who offered to connect her with someone in the state department.
“They may not even call you,” he warned.
But they did.
The woman on the phone didn’t give her name, but simply said, “Bob said I needed to hear your story.” Ruth told her everything she knew: names, dates, places, family history. Weeks later, the phone rang again.
“Hi, this is Michelle,” the voice said. “I’m Alan’s guardian.”
Tears falling, Ruth began to speak.
“I don’t want to take anything from you. I just want to know he’s okay… maybe see a picture. And someday, maybe meet him.”
As she spoke, Ruth’s phone began to ping. Michelle was sending photos.
The call came in 2021, but it would take almost two years to build enough trust for a visit.
In August of 2023, Ruth was invited to a staff meeting at Alan’s care facility. As she sat in the room with nine other employees staring at her, Michelle walked into the room, Alan beside her, and guided him to the seat right next to Ruth.
I always felt like he was close by,” Ruth said. “I just didn’t know he was five miles away my whole life.
“He kept looking at me, nodding, with this little crooked smile,” Ruth said. “I had my hand on the table, and suddenly he was holding it.”
A nurse watching over video spoke up: “He knows you’re his sister.”
The bond was immediate and mutual.
“I always felt like he was close by,” Ruth said. “I just didn’t know he was five miles away my whole life.”
Since that day, they’ve spent birthdays and holidays together.
“He’s the best,” she said. “He fits right under my arm—he’s tiny. He loves Santa, the color red, Coke, and sunglasses.”
But the reunion has come with weight, too. Now 66, Alan’s health is declining, and Ruth has been asked to help plan his funeral.
“I just found him,” she said. “And now I’m helping plan his funeral… But he’s mine. He’s my baby brother. The one I waited for when I was seven.”
Looking back, Ruth continues to uncover the fingerprints of God. Ray, the man who first gave her Alan’s birthdate, later shared that he had cared for Alan during his first sixteen years at the hospital.
What are the odds?
When asked what this journey has taught her, Ruth doesn’t hesitate:
“Patience, persistence, prayer, and people.” That’s what it took to find her brother, and it’s what the Lord provided along the way.
Some stories don’t unfold quickly. Many of them take time, and it’s only later that we realize how God was working in our waiting. Ruth’s story serves as a reminder that no prayer is forgotten, no relationship is beyond reach, and that even in life’s chapters that feel long or uneventful, God is still writing.
About the Author
Hannah Bemis currently serves as the editor and director of Message of the Open Bible. She always wanted to do too many things when she grew up, and God has been kind enough to let her do most of them in different seasons. After seasons of mothering, teaching, writing, and staff pastoring, Hannah’s most recent adventure is planting and pastoring College Street Church in Newberg, Oregon, with her husband, Jordan. After Jesus and all her favorite people, she spends the remainder of her passion on pizza and dark chocolate in equal measure.
“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness” (2 Corinthians 12:9 NIV).
There is a quiet invitation woven through these words – an invitation into constant, total dependence on God. We often imagine maturity as having our act together, managing our lives with unshakable strength. But in God’s kingdom, maturity looks nothing like self-reliance. It looks like surrender.
… in God’s kingdom, maturity looks nothing like self-reliance. It looks like surrender.
Just as valleys are watered with rain and become fruitful while lofty mountains remain dry, so it is with our hearts. The low places – the humbling, honest valleys – are where God’s grace pools and grows us. The heights of self-confidence, the illusions that we’ve got everything under control, stay barren.
Grace is not just God’s favor; it is His love set in motion toward us. When Paul begged God to remove the thorn in his life, God didn’t take it away. He gave Paul something far more powerful: grace. Sometimes relief comes by His removing the burden, but sometimes God strengthens the shoulders that carry it.
This past year, I’ve walked through my own valleys in ways I could never have anticipated. An abnormal mammogram led to surgery, which revealed breast cancer. By God’s miraculous hand, the tumor was removed completely, with clear margins and no spread although the tumor was dangerously close to my lymph nodes – a reminder of God’s perfect timing, protection, and faithfulness.
But the challenges didn’t end there. Amid cancer treatment, autoimmune flare-ups, and the toll on my body, I experienced alarming numbness on the left side of my face, suddenly losing strength in my left arm and leg. A trip to the ER revealed a nearly blocked right carotid artery, a tear likely caused by a fall I’d taken months prior, and a blood clot that could have caused a massive stroke.
Yet in the middle of chaos as we prepared for worst case scenarios, God’s grace showed up. Within a day of their being detected, scans revealed that both the clot and tear were gone. Every doctor involved was astonished. I was walking, speaking, and moving with minimal effects – a miracle too clear to dismiss.
In these moments, I’ve learned that we don’t truly trust God’s grace until we first admit we are insufficient. It’s easier to believe in grace for the past or the future. But grace for this moment, right here, in the pressing reality of fear, pain, and uncertainty, requires a present-tense, radical faith.
God didn’t just supplement my strength; He became my strength. He reminded me that the thorn doesn’t defeat us; it becomes the doorway through which His glory steps in. My husband, family, friends, and the countless prayers lifted on my behalf became vessels of God’s love, reminding me that what looks like an ending is often where He does His best work.
… the thorn doesn’t defeat us; it becomes the doorway through which His glory steps in.
Through lingering numbness and nerve pain in my face (Trigeminal neuralgia), vision issues in my left eye, and the exhaustion of hospital stays and oncology appointments, God has been teaching me to release my grip on self-sufficiency. Every test, every scan, every unknown has been a lesson in dependence, a sacred invitation to rest fully in Him. He meets us in both the dramatic and the mundane.
As we face uncertainty and continue to navigate treatments, recoveries, and the unknown, the same promise remains: His grace is sufficient. His power is made perfect in weakness. My valleys have become fertile soil, and in surrendering, I’ve discovered strength I never possessed alone.
To anyone reading this, let this be a challenge and an encouragement: don’t wait for the mountains to feel secure. Step into your valley. Admit your insufficiency. Rest in grace. Let God’s power carry you through the moments you cannot handle on your own. Because in the valleys, in the weakness, God is not just present – He is gloriously, powerfully enough.
About the Author
Sarah Holsapple serves on staff at her church in Cedar Rapids, Iowa, as the Creative & Spiritual Development Director. She serves alongside her husband of almost twenty years, Harris, who is the lead pastor at First Open Bible. Sarah has been teaching and preaching for several years. She’s passionate about discipleship and women’s ministry and served as the Regional Women’s Director for Open Bible Central Region. One of her favorite things in life is being a mom to her two incredible children, Hudson and Lynnley Jo.
The last several years for Sarah have been the hardest of her life. She truly knows the depths of heartbreak and what it feels like to wrestle through healing. She has seen God move in miraculous ways and has experienced great comfort in knowing that we serve a faithful God. Sarah feels great joy in sharing encouragement from the word of God, seeing lives changed and people set free!
My wife, Leona, was at an eye exam, and I was waiting in the lobby when a good-looking couple walked in. Thinking they were Hispanic, I greeted them in Spanish. With a look of surprise, they responded that they didn’t understand. Noticing their accent, I asked what language they spoke. “Arabic,” they replied. They were from Cairo, Egypt.
“I was just there!” I exclaimed. We introduced ourselves, and when they asked about my trip, I explained that I had gone to teach at INSTE Global Bible College. As we talked, we discovered common ground—Youssef and Fatima are both college professors, and Leona and I also work in higher education.
When the conversation turned to food, my Italian roots—revealed by my surname—caught their interest. I asked them what their favorite Italian dish was. “We love eggplant parmesan,” they answered.
“Would you come to our house for dinner if I made that?” I asked. They gladly accepted. When Leona’s appointment ended, we compared calendars and set a date to host Youssef, Fatima, and their four sons.
At home we talked about what to do with our dog Barney. Living in a townhome, we couldn’t put him outside. Knowing that Muslims traditionally view dogs as unclean, we decided to banish Barney to our finished basement during the visit.
Before dinner, we explained our custom of thanking God for our food. They understood, appreciating that we blessed them also in our prayer. Conversation flowed easily as we shared the meal. Afterward, the younger boys, full of energy, spotted the basement stairs. Leona explained about Barney, assuring Fatima that he was friendly. With her permission, the boys bounded downstairs to play with one very happy dog. The older boys preferred the TV room to watch football, while we lingered at the table with Youssef and Fatima, enjoying the chance to connect as fellow educators. Our first dinner together was a success.
As Fatima and Leona washed the dishes, the conversation was salted with quotes from the Koran and the Bible…
That Thanksgiving, we invited the family back to share in a traditional holiday meal. Barney had a sleepover at Leona’s sister’s house this time. We set the table for a 1:00 p.m. feast, but our guests were delayed returning from Wisconsin and arrived closer to 5:00. Once gathered, we enjoyed another rich time together.
Leona and Fatima washed dishes side by side, as Youssef and I chatted in the living room. All four boys bundled into the TV room to watch sports. Later, gathered by the fireplace, Youssef asked, “Does the Bible talk about the end of the world?” He was genuinely interested in comparing Christian and Muslim viewpoints on the end times. We had a very interesting conversation that evening! It was 11:00 p.m. when six-year-old Ahmed sleepily stumbled from the TV room, asking, “Can we go home now?” Shortly thereafter, we said good night to our guests with gratitude for another memorable evening.
Months later, Youssef and Fatima invited us to their home for the Muslim celebration of Eid, marking the close of Ramadan. Fatima had prepared the traditional feast of Egyptian dishes. We arrived in time to count down to sunset, and then the banquet began. As Fatima and Leona washed the dishes, the conversation was salted with quotes from the Koran and the Bible as Fatima explained Eid. The rest of the evening was filled with relaxing conversation, along with plans to get together for the Fourth of July.
Friendship and food opened doors for evangelism.
Our last gathering was at Christmas. Once again, we shared a meal, meaningful conversation, and plenty of laughter. Wanting to give them New Testaments in a respectful way, we sought guidance from friends experienced in ministry to Muslims. Following their advice, we wrapped the books beautifully, adding a heartfelt note expressing our joy in their friendship. We presented the gifts as they left that evening. Though we haven’t heard from them since, we often remember Youssef, Fatima, and their boys in prayer. Friendship and food opened doors for evangelism. We learned that sensitivity to cultural and religious differences keeps those doors open, and above all, we were reminded to live out 1 Peter 3:15: “Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect…” (NIV).
About the Authors
Leona K. Venditti, EdD, and Nicholas A Venditti, PhD, met in Madrid, Spain. In 1982, Leona was sent by Open Bible’s Department of Global Missions to start a training program which has since grown into INSTE Global Bible College. It has expanded to more than forty countries and eighteen languages. Together, the Vendittis continue to “make disciples and develop leaders” both nationally and globally as they mentor many cross-cultural followers of Jesus.