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Building Blocks of Successful Relationships
Published
2 years agoon
By Renita Collins
Our relationships with one another have a tremendous impact on our quality of life. You cannot live an optimized life without healthy relationships. When a person is on their death bed, they do not ask for more things; they ask for people. Our relationships with one another are one of life’s greatest assets.
Nonetheless, first attractions are not enough to form long-lasting bonds. Bonds that endure require effort; they are built over time. I have identified several building blocks that will help form healthy relationships. If you can master these things in your marriage and other personal and professional relationships, you will greatly enhance your life.
1. Submission
Submission means to voluntarily place oneself under the authority of another. Submission is an attitude; it is a matter of the heart. There is a difference between submission and relenting. One is voluntary; the other is forced. Submission is strength under control. It is like a yield sign. You yield the right of way to the other person. It is a choice.
Submission is like a strong foundation underneath a house. You cannot see the foundation, but it allows the house to keep standing and enduring the outside elements. In a marriage or any relationship mutual submission must take place. You were not meant to compete with your spouse but to help them. Your gifts and strengths were meant to help, not hinder. Use your skills to enhance your union and not tear it down.
2. Love
There is a difference between giving and lending. When you give, you expect nothing in return. When you lend, you expect to be paid back, sometimes with interest. Your attitude is different towards someone to whom you give as opposed to someone to whom you lend. Love is to be given unconditionally, without expecting anything in return. This is the foundation of all healthy relationships. If both people are giving without expecting anything in return, no one will lack.
3. Understanding
Your spouse should be your number one ongoing research project. You should know their strengths, weaknesses, fears, and joys. It is often said that women are difficult to understand. But when a husband has done his “research,” he will know the best way to properly nourish and care for her. Understanding your spouse is not as difficult as you may think.
4. Meekness
Meekness is not weakness; it is power under control. It comes from a Greek word that means consideration. Are you considerate of others? Do you find it difficult to step back and attempt to look at circumstances from the perspective of others and not just your own? Even when you think you are right, are you willing to listen and consider another’s point of view? Successful leaders in the home, business, and community will listen to others’ points of view before giving theirs. This says to their team, “I value you.” Meekness is consideration, power under control.
5. Longsuffering
In the Greek, the word longsuffering literally means “long-tempered,” the ability to endure discomfort without fighting back. Longsuffering cannot be experienced apart from love. We must bear with one another. We are all on a journey toward maturity. Are you willing to bear with others as you would hope others would bear with you?
6. Endeavoring to Keep Unity
In Ephesians 4:3 (NLT), Paul tells the Christ followers, “Make every effort to keep yourselves united in the Spirit, binding yourselves together with peace.” This is a continuous work. It is easy to say “I do” on your wedding day, but what about when his underwear and socks are all over the floor, or the house is a mess, or you are in a heated argument? It is easy to love that baby in the crib smiling at you, but what about that teenager who challenges everything you say or that adult child that seems to be living contrary to everything you have taught them? Relationships require ongoing work. It is a constant endeavor, and each person involved has a responsibility to maintain and guard the unity of the relationship.
In our society, we tend to shy away from words like submission, meekness, and longsuffering. But once we understand their true definition and value, then we can begin to build healthy relationships on a firm foundation with sturdy materials built to last.
Jesus encourages us to walk in unity with each other. He is our example. The way we treat each other should be a direct expression of our gratitude to God for His grace, mercy, and love toward us. As we do this, we ultimately bring glory and honor to Him.
About the Author
Renita Collins currently serves as an executive pastor alongside her husband, Frank Collins Jr., who is the senior pastor of Breath of Life Christian Church in Grosse Pointe, Michigan. She is a mother of two and the author of two books, 31 Days of Focus and Persevere. The Collins family resides in Grosse Pointe, Michigan.
As we approach another election season, we find ourselves once again in an environment bringing tension, division, and uncertainty to people, including those within the Church. It is during times like this, however, that we as the Church can shine brightly. In the face of debates, advertisements, and news that may stir anxiety, we have a divine opportunity to anchor people to the unchanging hope of Christ.
The apostle Paul instructs us that “our citizenship is in heaven” (Phil. 3:20 NIV), and as followers of Christ, our ultimate allegiance is to God and His kingdom. While politics does have its importance and influence, it is reassuring to know our hope is not based upon human leaders or systems but in the Lord who reigns over all.
There is no question that, as followers of Christ, we should engage in our civic duties with a kingdom-minded perspective and a biblical worldview. We vote, we pray for our leaders, we seek the welfare of our communities (Jer. 29:7), and we engage others with love. And as we do all of this, we hold to the truth that God’s sovereignty transcends the outcomes of elections.
In times that seem unstable or fragile, God’s Word tells us “we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken” (Heb.12:28). We serve an “unshakable kingdom.” Governments change, leaders come and go, and through it all, God’s kingdom remains. It is unshakable, eternal, and built upon His righteousness and justice. No election can alter the reality of God’s sovereignty nor shake the foundation of His authority. It is His church that holds the keys to unlock heaven on earth and bring light to the darkness.
Here is the reality we stand upon: It is God who “controls the course of world events; He removes kings and sets up other kings” (Dan. 2:21 NLT), and “the king’s heart is in the hand of the Lord” (Prov. 21:1 KJV).
Because of this truth, we can embrace Paul’s word to the Philippians: “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus” (Phil. 4:6-7 NLT). Based on this passage, if we are a people of prayer who walk in faith, seek God’s wisdom, and are grateful, THEN we know we will experience a peace that goes beyond natural understanding. I am reminded, comforted, and convinced of this truth, and it is an anchor to my soul.
This November’s election will be followed in December by the celebration of Christ’s birth. What a perfect time to remember that Jesus is Emmanuel – God with us. This name, given to Jesus, is more than just a title; it is a promise that no matter what happens around us, God’s presence is constant and unchanging.
Whether the outcome of the election brings joy or disappointment, whether policies align with your hopes or create concerns, remember Emmanuel – God is with us. He is present in our churches, in our communities, in our families, and in our lives. He is not distant or disconnected; He is personally and actively involved in the lives of His people. Whoever is elected and however people respond – God still sits on the throne, His Kingdom is unshakable, and His plans are unstoppable. GOD IS WITH US.
Some practical steps for consideration:
- Pray for our leaders, regardless of who they are: Pray for their wisdom, discernment, and a spirit of humility.
- Stay united as the body of Christ: Let a heart of unity, love, and the bond of peace be what others see.
- Keep an eternal perspective: Engage in the political process, but keep your eyes fixed on Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith.
- Live out the things that will remain: faith, hope and love.
About the Author
Michael Nortune
Michael Nortune serves as president of Open Bible Churches. He has ministered in the local church faithfully for 35 years. From his start as a janitor and groundskeeper to lead pastor of Life Church in Concord, California, Michael has had the opportunity to gain experience in every capacity within the church throughout his ministry. Not only does he have hands-on experience on the local level, but Michael has also led at the district, regional, and national levels within Open Bible Churches. Michael and his wife Julie currently reside in Colorado and love living near five of their six children and their spouses. They also treasure the time they spend with their other daughter who lives in Alabama with their first (but not the last) grandson!
A medida que nos acercarnos a otra temporada de elecciones, nos encontramos una vez más en un ambiente de tensión, división e incertidumbre entre la gente, incluyendo a los que están dentro de la Iglesia. Sin embargo, es en tiempos como éste cuando nosotros, como Iglesia, debemos brillar con intensidad. Frente a los debates, los anuncios y las noticias que pueden provocar ansiedad, tenemos la oportunidad divina de afianzar a la gente en la esperanza inmutable de Cristo.
El apóstol Pablo nos dice que «nuestra ciudadanía está en los cielos» (Fil. 3:20, RVR1960), y como seguidores de Cristo, nuestra lealtad suprema es a Dios y a Su reino. Aunque la política tiene su importancia e influencia, es alentador saber que nuestra esperanza no se basa en líderes o sistemas humanos, sino en el Señor que reina, sobre todo.
No hay duda de que, como seguidores de Cristo, debemos cumplir con nuestro deber cívico desde la perspectiva del Reino y con una cosmovisión bíblica. Votamos, oramos por nuestros líderes, procuramos el bienestar de nuestras comunidades (Jeremías 29:7) y nos relacionamos con los demás en amor. Y al hacer todo esto, nos aferramos a esta verdad: que la soberanía de Dios trasciende los resultados de las elecciones.
En tiempos que parecen inestables o frágiles, la Palabra de Dios nos dice que «recibimos un reino inconmovible» (Heb.12:28). Servimos a un «Reino Inconmovible». Los gobiernos cambian, los líderes van y vienen, y a pesar de todo, el reino de Dios permanece. Es inconmovible, eterno y está edificado sobre Su justicia y equidad. Ninguna elección puede alterar la realidad de la soberanía de Dios ni sacudir el fundamento de su autoridad. Es Su Iglesia la que tiene las llaves para abrir el cielo en la tierra y para llevar la luz a las tinieblas.
La realidad sobre la que nos apoyamos es la siguiente: Es Dios quien «controla el curso de los sucesos del mundo; él quita reyes y pone otros reyes» (Dan. 2:21, NTV), y «está el corazón del rey en la mano de Jehová» (Prov. 21:1, RVR1960).
A raíz de esta verdad, podemos hacer nuestras las palabras del Apóstol Pablo a los filipenses: «Por nada estéis afanosos, sino sean conocidas vuestras peticiones delante de Dios en toda oración y ruego, con acción de gracias. Y la paz de Dios, que sobrepasa todo entendimiento, guardará vuestros corazones y vuestros pensamientos en Cristo Jesús» (Fil. 4:6-7). Según este pasaje, «si somos un pueblo de oración que camina en la fe, busca la sabiduría de Dios y es agradecido, ENTONCES tenemos la certeza de que experimentaremos una paz que va más allá de la comprensión natural». Este pasaje me recuerda, me consuela y me convence de esta verdad, y es un ancla para mi alma.
En diciembre, tras las elecciones de noviembre, celebraremos el nacimiento de Jesús. Qué momento tan perfecto para recordar que Jesús es Emmanuel: Dios con nosotros. Este nombre, dado a Jesús, es más que un título; es una promesa de que, pase lo que pase a nuestro alrededor, la presencia de Dios es constante e inmutable.
No importa si el resultado de las elecciones nos traiga alegría o decepción, sea que las medidas políticas se alineen o no con nuestras expectativas, o nos generen más preocupación, recuerde Emmanuel: Dios está con nosotros. Está presente en nuestras iglesias, en nuestras comunidades, en nuestras familias y en nuestras vidas. No está distante ni desconectado; Él está involucrado de forma personal y activa en la vida de su pueblo. Cualquiera que sea elegido y comoquiera que la gente responda: Dios sigue sentado en el trono, Su Reino es inconmovible y Sus planes son imparables. DIOS ESTÁ CON NOSOTROS.
Algunas medidas prácticas para tener en cuenta:
- Oremos por nuestros líderes, sin importar quiénes sean: Pidamos para ellos sabiduría, discernimiento y un espíritu de humildad
- Permanezcamos unidos al cuerpo de Cristo: Que un corazón de unidad, amor y el vínculo de la paz sea lo que los demás vean en nosotros.
- Mantengamos una perspectiva eterna: Participemos en el proceso político, pero mantengamos los ojos fijos en Jesús, el autor y consumador de nuestra fe.
- Vivamos conforme a lo que permanecerá: la fe, la esperanza y el amor.
Sobre el Autor
Michael Nortune
Michael Nortune es presidente de las Iglesias de la Biblia Abierta. Ha servido fielmente en la iglesia local durante treinta y cinco años. Desde sus comienzos como conserje y jardinero hasta ser pastor principal de Life Church en Concord, California. Michael ha tenido la oportunidad de adquirir experiencia en todas las funciones dentro de la iglesia a lo largo de su ministerio. No sólo tiene experiencia práctica a nivel local, sino que también ha liderado a nivel distrital, regional y nacional dentro de las Iglesias de la Biblia Abierta.
Featured Articles
A Costly “Yes”: Church Planting in the Murder Capital of America
Published
2 months agoon
September 1, 2024By
Cala DickeyChurch planting isn’t for the faint of heart. All church plants require faith, but it takes a special kind of crazy to “parachute plant,” where church planters “parachute” into a new place, starting from nothing with few resources or contacts. After seven years of pouring our hearts and souls into CityLife Church, a parachute church plant in Wilmington, North Carolina, my husband Mike and I were pretty certain God was calling us to do something different. We genuinely believed God was calling us into missions. In hindsight, I guess He was – just not in the way we pictured it.
Neither one of us had a desire to plant another church, but the thought of doing something new was exciting to us. So, towards the end of our tenure at CityLife, we let the stirring of something new brew within us even though we had no idea what was coming.
During this season, a couple of things happened that God used to speak to our hearts. The Vanartsdalens, close friends of ours at CityLife, came to us with the news that they were moving to help plant another church within Open Bible (read more about their story HERE). As we celebrated what God was doing with our friends, it reignited a feeling within us that we had forgotten. (Never underestimate how your “yes” might affect someone else’s!) That feeling was the excitement and spiritual rush that comes with church planting. Neither Mike nor I expected to feel this again, and we were surprised to find the desire in our hearts to plant another church.
Everything changed after a conversation with our Open Bible Regional Director, Nathan Hagan. When we shared our initial desire with him, he began to brainstorm some different options for us to consider. One idea jumped out to both of us: “If you guys were interested in planting another church in the region, maybe it could be someplace like New Orleans.” Nathan mentioned other places, but the only one we remembered is the one that stuck to our hearts like glue. New Orleans: the word was spoken, and the Spirit responded!
Mike and I decided early on in our marriage that whatever God called us to do, we would say yes. This time, our “yes” led us into what was at that time the murder capital of America: New Orleans, Louisiana. It is extremely hard to uproot your family and your life and move hundreds of miles away to a place where there are no family, friends, or security. Despite these challenges, we sold many of our possessions, took what we could in a truck and trailer, and headed off into the unknown!
As soon as we put boots on the ground, we quickly realized that this city, this plant, and this call would be different from anything we had ever done. Almost immediately after moving, we were met with a triple homicide four houses down from ours, I was violently robbed at gunpoint, and our kids had a gun pulled on them while playing outside in our neighborhood. We faced circumstances that most people assumed we would run from, but when you know the Lord has called you to a land, you must trust that He will protect and prosper you in that land. Suffering is part of the calling; if we aren’t willing to suffer for the calling, we won’t partake of its full blessing. “But rejoice inasmuch as you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed” (1 Peter 4:13).
To rewind just a bit, when we knew for sure that we were moving, Mike sat our kids down and had them help compile a dream/prayer list of people we’d love to have on our team. Some on the list were Spirit-led, some were hopefuls, but all of them were people we thought might be crazy enough to consider moving with us!
Back before we’d moved to North Carolina for our first church plant, we had told our friends Greg and Tina that we felt they were supposed to come with us. I think Greg laughed at Mike when we first shared this, but they are now the pastors at CityLife! In similar fashion, we had another friend couple in Ohio that we video chatted with as we prepared to plant in New Orleans. We shared the news of where we were moving then asked them to pray about joining us. They agreed to pray, but I’m certain they thought we were crazy!
It’s amazing to see how God works in lives, stirring people’s hearts to be part of things that take an incredible amount of faith. Here we are two years later, and Pastor Eric and Lindsay Baker are in New Orleans with us putting their hands to the plow! They moved from a one-light farm town to one of the wildest cities in the world. They and their seven kids gave their “yes” to the Lord, leaving everything they had ever known. They have had their car stolen twice, and yet here they remain. In addition to the Bakers, God sent us another person from our dream list without us even having to ask; Mike’s mom, Lynne, joined the team and lives right next door to us now!
Fast forward to present day: we are so excited to see what God is doing at OHR City Church! “Ohr” is the Hebrew word for “light,” and it also means “to bring order amid chaos” (so fitting for this city!). Almost nothing has gone how we thought it would here, yet we believe everything is going exactly how God designed it.
We are currently meeting every Sunday night in our house where we eat, worship, dream, pray, and study the word of God together. While the adults meet in our house, the kids go to Momma Lynne’s house next door! Our team is growing, and we are all becoming a family. None of us knows exactly where the Lord is taking us yet, but everyone is on board to find out!
If you feel God calling you to something, I encourage you to step out in faith and give God your “yes”!
*Want to read more from Mike and Cala Dickey? Read their related article: Five Ways to Support Church Planting
About the Author
Cala Dickey
Mike and Cala Dickey are the lead pastors at the Southeast Region of Open Bible’s newest church plant, OHR City Church, in New Orleans, Louisiana. Before heading down to the bayou, Mike and Cala planted CityLife Church in Wilmington, North Carolina. They are passionate about pioneering and planting churches in areas that desperately need Jesus. The Dickey family is excited for what God is doing through OHR City Church in New Orleans! To learn more, visit Ohrcc.com.