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Building Blocks of Successful Relationships
By Renita Collins
Our relationships with one another have a tremendous impact on our quality of life. You cannot live an optimized life without healthy relationships. When a person is on their death bed, they do not ask for more things; they ask for people. Our relationships with one another are one of life’s greatest assets.
Nonetheless, first attractions are not enough to form long-lasting bonds. Bonds that endure require effort; they are built over time. I have identified several building blocks that will help form healthy relationships. If you can master these things in your marriage and other personal and professional relationships, you will greatly enhance your life.
1. Submission
Submission means to voluntarily place oneself under the authority of another. Submission is an attitude; it is a matter of the heart. There is a difference between submission and relenting. One is voluntary; the other is forced. Submission is strength under control. It is like a yield sign. You yield the right of way to the other person. It is a choice.
Submission is like a strong foundation underneath a house. You cannot see the foundation, but it allows the house to keep standing and enduring the outside elements. In a marriage or any relationship mutual submission must take place. You were not meant to compete with your spouse but to help them. Your gifts and strengths were meant to help, not hinder. Use your skills to enhance your union and not tear it down.
2. Love
There is a difference between giving and lending. When you give, you expect nothing in return. When you lend, you expect to be paid back, sometimes with interest. Your attitude is different towards someone to whom you give as opposed to someone to whom you lend. Love is to be given unconditionally, without expecting anything in return. This is the foundation of all healthy relationships. If both people are giving without expecting anything in return, no one will lack.
3. Understanding
Your spouse should be your number one ongoing research project. You should know their strengths, weaknesses, fears, and joys. It is often said that women are difficult to understand. But when a husband has done his “research,” he will know the best way to properly nourish and care for her. Understanding your spouse is not as difficult as you may think.
4. Meekness
Meekness is not weakness; it is power under control. It comes from a Greek word that means consideration. Are you considerate of others? Do you find it difficult to step back and attempt to look at circumstances from the perspective of others and not just your own? Even when you think you are right, are you willing to listen and consider another’s point of view? Successful leaders in the home, business, and community will listen to others’ points of view before giving theirs. This says to their team, “I value you.” Meekness is consideration, power under control.
5. Longsuffering
In the Greek, the word longsuffering literally means “long-tempered,” the ability to endure discomfort without fighting back. Longsuffering cannot be experienced apart from love. We must bear with one another. We are all on a journey toward maturity. Are you willing to bear with others as you would hope others would bear with you?
6. Endeavoring to Keep Unity
In Ephesians 4:3 (NLT), Paul tells the Christ followers, “Make every effort to keep yourselves united in the Spirit, binding yourselves together with peace.” This is a continuous work. It is easy to say “I do” on your wedding day, but what about when his underwear and socks are all over the floor, or the house is a mess, or you are in a heated argument? It is easy to love that baby in the crib smiling at you, but what about that teenager who challenges everything you say or that adult child that seems to be living contrary to everything you have taught them? Relationships require ongoing work. It is a constant endeavor, and each person involved has a responsibility to maintain and guard the unity of the relationship.
In our society, we tend to shy away from words like submission, meekness, and longsuffering. But once we understand their true definition and value, then we can begin to build healthy relationships on a firm foundation with sturdy materials built to last.
Jesus encourages us to walk in unity with each other. He is our example. The way we treat each other should be a direct expression of our gratitude to God for His grace, mercy, and love toward us. As we do this, we ultimately bring glory and honor to Him.
About the Author
Renita Collins currently serves as an executive pastor alongside her husband, Frank Collins Jr., who is the senior pastor of Breath of Life Christian Church in Grosse Pointe, Michigan. She is a mother of two and the author of two books, 31 Days of Focus and Persevere. The Collins family resides in Grosse Pointe, Michigan.
Spirit and Truth Church began as a dream amidst the stormy backdrop of January 2021, during the COVID-19 pandemic. Despite the challenges that the world faced, we found ourselves thriving, anchored by the belief that God’s plans always prevail. As we say on our website, we are passionate about helping people “find freedom in the fullness” of both the Spirit and the Word. This foundational vision has carried us through times of uncertainty and propelled us forward.
Yet, for all our successes, we reached a point where we felt like we were on an island—thriving, yes, but lacking the covering, coaching, counsel, and care that every church needs to flourish long term. In 2022, at the first MOVEMENT conference, God spoke directly to my heart, telling me that Spirit and Truth Church was meant to be part of the Open Bible Church family. This call was a turning point for our ministry. In 2023, I was credentialed through Open Bible Churches, and in February of this year (2024), we became officially affiliated with Open Bible Churches’ Mountain Plains region. Since then, the blessings have been immense.
For all our successes, we reached a point where we felt like we were on an island.
Being part of Open Bible has been transformative for us. We have received so much investment, training, and support. Open Bible has helped us shore up essential aspects of our ministry: leadership, organization, staffing, budget, facilities, and more. Our growth has been remarkable—we’ve doubled in size, growing from 60 to 120 regular attendees in the past year. This growth, I believe, is a testament to both the godly covering of Open Bible and the Spirit-led outreaches we engage in. Our church has a culture of lifestyle evangelism and hospitality where all our members are witnesses and welcomers. In addition, we have forged strategic partnerships with other ministries.
One of the most exciting partnerships we have is with Every Heart Tours, a ministry led by fiery, Jesus-loving college students from Michigan. These students come to stay with us for a week at a time, engaging in outdoor worship outreaches and “prophetic treasure hunts.” If you’re unfamiliar with this term, a prophetic treasure hunt is an evangelistic practice where participants ask the Holy Spirit to reveal specific details about people they will meet, and then they go into the community to find these “treasures.” It’s a beautiful, Spirit-led adventure allowing us to partner with God and minister to people in our city in a unique way. We’ve seen so many lives touched and transformed through these treasure hunts.
What started as a small church plant in Northern Colorado has since grown into a vibrant community reflecting the heart of God for His people.
One of the most powerful testimonies from these outreaches happened this summer (2024). We had a team of prophetic ministers giving specific words to people as we worshipped in Fort Collins Old Town square. We preached the gospel boldly, and by the end of the night eleven people made the decision to be baptized! We walked down to the Poudre River and witnessed the supernatural power of God as they went under the water and came up renewed. It was a moment that felt like the early church, where “the Lord added to their number daily” (Acts 2:47 NIV).
Of course, ministry isn’t always easy. We’ve faced rejection and opposition. But we hold firm to the truth of Romans 1:16: “For I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God that brings salvation to everyone who believes.” The harvest is plentiful, and we’ve seen this reality unfold before our eyes. As we continue to partner with ministries, step out in faith, and preach the gospel, we trust that God will continue to bring more people into His kingdom.
Our journey with Open Bible has been a testimony to God’s faithfulness. What started as a small church plant in Northern Colorado has since grown into a vibrant community reflecting the heart of God for His people. We remain committed to spreading the good news and making sure outreach and evangelism are at the heart of our ministry. The harvest is ready, Open Bible fam – let’s go bring it in!
About the Author
Rob Bray
Rob Bray is a marketplace and ministry leader with over a decade of experience in both business and church contexts. He is the founder and lead pastor of Spirit + Truth Church, an Open Bible Church in the Mountain Plains Region. Rob has catalyzed successful companies, grown healthy ministries, and spoken at influential conferences, workshops, and events. Rob’s expertise and passion have made him a trusted advisor and coach for leaders and entrepreneurs seeking breakthroughs in multiple areas including life, marriage, and business. Rob and his wife Bethany live on their homestead in Fort Collins, CO, with their six children: Nehemiah, Nora, Noelle, Neely, Nayla, and Nicholas. In their spare time, they enjoy hiking, paddle boarding, and snowboarding.
As we approach another election season, we find ourselves once again in an environment bringing tension, division, and uncertainty to people, including those within the Church. It is during times like this, however, that we as the Church can shine brightly. In the face of debates, advertisements, and news that may stir anxiety, we have a divine opportunity to anchor people to the unchanging hope of Christ.
The apostle Paul instructs us that “our citizenship is in heaven” (Phil. 3:20 NIV), and as followers of Christ, our ultimate allegiance is to God and His kingdom. While politics does have its importance and influence, it is reassuring to know our hope is not based upon human leaders or systems but in the Lord who reigns over all.
In the face of debates, advertisements, and news that may stir anxiety, we have a divine opportunity to anchor people to the unchanging hope of Christ.
There is no question that, as followers of Christ, we should engage in our civic duties with a kingdom-minded perspective and a biblical worldview. We vote, we pray for our leaders, we seek the welfare of our communities (Jer. 29:7), and we engage others with love. And as we do all of this, we hold to the truth that God’s sovereignty transcends the outcomes of elections.
In times that seem unstable or fragile, God’s Word tells us “we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken” (Heb.12:28). We serve an “unshakable kingdom.” Governments change, leaders come and go, and through it all, God’s kingdom remains. It is unshakable, eternal, and built upon His righteousness and justice. No election can alter the reality of God’s sovereignty nor shake the foundation of His authority. It is His church that holds the keys to unlock heaven on earth and bring light to the darkness.
Here is the reality we stand upon: It is God who “controls the course of world events; He removes kings and sets up other kings” (Dan. 2:21 NLT), and “the king’s heart is in the hand of the Lord” (Prov. 21:1 KJV).
Because of this truth, we can embrace Paul’s word to the Philippians: “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus” (Phil. 4:6-7 NLT). Based on this passage, if we are a people of prayer who walk in faith, seek God’s wisdom, and are grateful, THEN we know we will experience a peace that goes beyond natural understanding. I am reminded, comforted, and convinced of this truth, and it is an anchor to my soul.
No election can alter the reality of God’s sovereignty nor shake the foundation of His authority.
This November’s election will be followed in December by the celebration of Christ’s birth. What a perfect time to remember that Jesus is Emmanuel – God with us. This name, given to Jesus, is more than just a title; it is a promise that no matter what happens around us, God’s presence is constant and unchanging.
Whether the outcome of the election brings joy or disappointment, whether policies align with your hopes or create concerns, remember Emmanuel – God is with us. He is present in our churches, in our communities, in our families, and in our lives. He is not distant or disconnected; He is personally and actively involved in the lives of His people. Whoever is elected and however people respond – God still sits on the throne, His Kingdom is unshakable, and His plans are unstoppable. GOD IS WITH US.
Some practical steps for consideration:
- Pray for our leaders, regardless of who they are: Pray for their wisdom, discernment, and a spirit of humility.
- Stay united as the body of Christ: Let a heart of unity, love, and the bond of peace be what others see.
- Keep an eternal perspective: Engage in the political process, but keep your eyes fixed on Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith.
- Live out the things that will remain: faith, hope and love.
About the Author
Michael Nortune
Michael Nortune serves as president of Open Bible Churches. He has ministered in the local church faithfully for 35 years. From his start as a janitor and groundskeeper to lead pastor of Life Church in Concord, California, Michael has had the opportunity to gain experience in every capacity within the church throughout his ministry. Not only does he have hands-on experience on the local level, but Michael has also led at the district, regional, and national levels within Open Bible Churches. Michael and his wife Julie currently reside in Colorado and love living near five of their six children and their spouses. They also treasure the time they spend with their other daughter who lives in Alabama with their first (but not the last) grandson!
Church planting isn’t for the faint of heart. All church plants require faith, but it takes a special kind of crazy to “parachute plant,” where church planters “parachute” into a new place, starting from nothing with few resources or contacts. After seven years of pouring our hearts and souls into CityLife Church, a parachute church plant in Wilmington, North Carolina, my husband Mike and I were pretty certain God was calling us to do something different. We genuinely believed God was calling us into missions. In hindsight, I guess He was – just not in the way we pictured it.
This time, our “yes” led us into what was at that time the murder capital of America.
Neither one of us had a desire to plant another church, but the thought of doing something new was exciting to us. So, towards the end of our tenure at CityLife, we let the stirring of something new brew within us even though we had no idea what was coming.
During this season, a couple of things happened that God used to speak to our hearts. The Vanartsdalens, close friends of ours at CityLife, came to us with the news that they were moving to help plant another church within Open Bible (read more about their story HERE). As we celebrated what God was doing with our friends, it reignited a feeling within us that we had forgotten. (Never underestimate how your “yes” might affect someone else’s!) That feeling was the excitement and spiritual rush that comes with church planting. Neither Mike nor I expected to feel this again, and we were surprised to find the desire in our hearts to plant another church.
Everything changed after a conversation with our Open Bible Regional Director, Nathan Hagan. When we shared our initial desire with him, he began to brainstorm some different options for us to consider. One idea jumped out to both of us: “If you guys were interested in planting another church in the region, maybe it could be someplace like New Orleans.” Nathan mentioned other places, but the only one we remembered is the one that stuck to our hearts like glue. New Orleans: the word was spoken, and the Spirit responded!
Mike and I decided early on in our marriage that whatever God called us to do, we would say yes. This time, our “yes” led us into what was at that time the murder capital of America: New Orleans, Louisiana. It is extremely hard to uproot your family and your life and move hundreds of miles away to a place where there are no family, friends, or security. Despite these challenges, we sold many of our possessions, took what we could in a truck and trailer, and headed off into the unknown!
As soon as we put boots on the ground, we quickly realized that this city, this plant, and this call would be different from anything we had ever done. Almost immediately after moving, we were met with a triple homicide four houses down from ours, I was violently robbed at gunpoint, and our kids had a gun pulled on them while playing outside in our neighborhood. We faced circumstances that most people assumed we would run from, but when you know the Lord has called you to a land, you must trust that He will protect and prosper you in that land. Suffering is part of the calling; if we aren’t willing to suffer for the calling, we won’t partake of its full blessing. “But rejoice inasmuch as you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed” (1 Peter 4:13).
To rewind just a bit, when we knew for sure that we were moving, Mike sat our kids down and had them help compile a dream/prayer list of people we’d love to have on our team. Some on the list were Spirit-led, some were hopefuls, but all of them were people we thought might be crazy enough to consider moving with us!
Back before we’d moved to North Carolina for our first church plant, we had told our friends Greg and Tina that we felt they were supposed to come with us. I think Greg laughed at Mike when we first shared this, but they are now the pastors at CityLife! In similar fashion, we had another friend couple in Ohio that we video chatted with as we prepared to plant in New Orleans. We shared the news of where we were moving then asked them to pray about joining us. They agreed to pray, but I’m certain they thought we were crazy!
We faced circumstances that most people assumed we would run from, but when you know the Lord has called you to a land, you must trust that He will protect and prosper you in that land.
It’s amazing to see how God works in lives, stirring people’s hearts to be part of things that take an incredible amount of faith. Here we are two years later, and Pastor Eric and Lindsay Baker are in New Orleans with us putting their hands to the plow! They moved from a one-light farm town to one of the wildest cities in the world. They and their seven kids gave their “yes” to the Lord, leaving everything they had ever known. They have had their car stolen twice, and yet here they remain. In addition to the Bakers, God sent us another person from our dream list without us even having to ask; Mike’s mom, Lynne, joined the team and lives right next door to us now!
Fast forward to present day: we are so excited to see what God is doing at OHR City Church! “Ohr” is the Hebrew word for “light,” and it also means “to bring order amid chaos” (so fitting for this city!). Almost nothing has gone how we thought it would here, yet we believe everything is going exactly how God designed it.
We are currently meeting every Sunday night in our house where we eat, worship, dream, pray, and study the word of God together. While the adults meet in our house, the kids go to Momma Lynne’s house next door! Our team is growing, and we are all becoming a family. None of us knows exactly where the Lord is taking us yet, but everyone is on board to find out!
If you feel God calling you to something, I encourage you to step out in faith and give God your “yes”!
*Want to read more from Mike and Cala Dickey? Read their related article: Five Ways to Support Church Planting
About the Author
Cala Dickey
Mike and Cala Dickey are the lead pastors at the Southeast Region of Open Bible’s newest church plant, OHR City Church, in New Orleans, Louisiana. Before heading down to the bayou, Mike and Cala planted CityLife Church in Wilmington, North Carolina. They are passionate about pioneering and planting churches in areas that desperately need Jesus. The Dickey family is excited for what God is doing through OHR City Church in New Orleans! To learn more, visit Ohrcc.com.
