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In the Waiting
By Gary Khan
When I was in my early twenties, God gave me a word and a picture regarding His destiny for me. It was overwhelming and compelling, and I have spent the rest of my life waiting for Him to fulfill that vision. Yet it eludes me. Time is creeping forward, and I seem to be standing still, wondering when I will see the fulfillment of that promise from God.
Have you ever felt that way? God drops a word into your heart, a promise for the future, and then He goes silent and seems to have forgotten about what He said. For me it has resulted in doubt storms that rage within me. That doubt sometimes leads to rash decisions when I decide to “help” God fulfill His promise by forging ahead of Him.
Abraham had a similar experience. God spoke to him about his descendants being as numerous as the sands of the seashore when Abraham had yet to father even one child. After God gave him that word, decades passed with no fulfillment in sight. Abraham had to live in the waiting, and in that time of waiting he did some things we would be wise to avoid. The story can be found in Genesis 15 and 16.
Abraham Doubted
Abraham made some major moves, literally, as a result of God speaking to him, moves that seemed to lack any immediate payoff.
Let’s put ourselves in that situation for a moment. God speaks to us regarding a major life change; then He goes silent. How many of us would obey Him right away? Or would we walk around wrestling with doubts about whether we really heard from God? How many of us are not doing the majority of what He has asked us to do right now because we are doubtful about the outcome?
I can hear it already. Some of you are thinking, But Abraham is different. He had God show up in person so he should not have doubted. I do not get personal visitations from God.
Maybe we won’t get a personal visitation like Abraham did, but today we have God’s Holy Spirit. He lives in us and is with us, leading us and guiding us into all truth. Conversely, imagine you did receive a visitation from God for a moment, but then you had to walk day in and day out in the reality that what God told you would happen has not happened – even though it has been years of waiting and various attempts at fulfilling His promise. In those “day-in and day-out” moments, doubts begin to visit, making statements that throw God’s promises into question.
Did I really hear God, or was it the pizza I ate that evening?
Really, I know God can do anything, but would He do that for me? I’m not that special. Maybe I’m doing something wrong. Remember, “God helps those who help themselves,” so if I want to see this happen, then I need to make it happen.
We need to learn to anticipate those doubts. If you are like me, you want God to reassure you every moment until the promise is fulfilled, and then you want Him to continue to reassure you that everything is on track. We want constant reassurance — but God wants us to trust in Him. The need for constant reassurance does not build our faith in Him.
Dealing with Doubt in the Waiting
The enemy’s tried-and-true tactic is to cast doubt on what God said to us. It’s a trick as old as time. In Genesis he asked Eve, “Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’?” (Genesis 3:1, NIV).
We need to recognize this tactic and be prepared to deal with it. In the New Testament, James tells Christians that we can be victorious over Satan and his doubting trick: “Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you” (James 4:7, NIV).
Submit and resist. We submit by believing God’s Word, and we resist by standing on that Word in faith and declaring it over our lives. We resist when we live in the reality of what God has spoken instead of reacting to the doubts Satan is stirring up. We can win over doubt, and the way we win is by reminding ourselves and the enemy of God’s Word to us.
When Abraham and Sarah were plagued by the doubts that came up because of God’s silence, they would have done well to remind themselves what God had said to them. They would have saved themselves a lot of trouble and heartache. The same goes for us. The enemy is looking to steal, kill, and destroy the work of God in us, but God has promised that His Word will not return empty. How do we remind ourselves of God’s precious promises?
- Memorize His Word and repeat it as needed.
- Read it often and hold on to His promises. He will fulfill His Word to us.
The doubts will keep coming, one after another. The enemy’s incessance combined with the seeming slowness of God and His silence lead us to a crossroads where many of us act on our doubts instead of standing on God’s promises. That never ends well.
We will encounter these realities if we trust our plans over God’s:
- We can never see the big picture like God does.
God is not bound by time and space and sees how every little thing affects the big picture; we can never do that. When we choose to trust our plans instead of God’s plans, we take huge risks. We may be able to plan three steps ahead of us, but even that is fraught with trouble because we can never predict how a person may react to something we do, and we do not know what will happen in the bigger scheme of things.
- Our motivations become a problem.
When God plans, He is weaving together a masterpiece that will be for the good of all humankind. When we plan, we are usually concerned with ourselves and getting what we want. Just look at what happened with Abraham, Sarah, Hagar, and Ishmael.
Sarah was not concerned with God’s great plan of bringing salvation to the world through Abraham. Her motivation for a child was to unburden herself from the stigma of not being able to bear a child for her husband. When it seemed like God was taking too long, she decided on a plan to get that child through a surrogate. Hagar was her handmaiden, so she was with Sarah all the time. Hagar probably saw Sarah’s sadness and heard her as she sobbed and complained about how she could not have a child for her husband. I don’t know whose idea it was, whether Sarah suggested it or Hagar offered it, but however the idea was conceived, I can safely say that Sarah was not thinking about Hagar’s well-being. She simply saw her as a means to an end.
One of the problems that occurs when we doubt is that instead of trusting God’s timing, we run ahead and use people around us “in the name of God,” leaving a trail of destruction and brokenness behind us.
- People don’t always respond the way we expect them to or as they promised they would.
Hagar may have told Sarah she would do this as her friend and handmaiden. She may have had good intentions. As a kid hearing this story, I simply assumed that Hagar got pregnant after a one-night stand. But the reality is that Abraham probably went in to Hagar more than once, and when Hagar started having sexual relations with Abraham, things changed. It always does when you start having sex – because God made it that way.
When Hagar discovered she was pregnant, things changed even more. She began to believe that she would now mean more to Abraham and Sarah. But the sad reality is that in Abraham’s and Sarah’s eyes Hagar was always the slave girl, still just a means to an end.
Not only did Hagar not respond as planned, but Sarah did not respond as she thought she would. Sarah could not and did not predict that she would become extremely jealous of Hagar. She watched every night as Abraham went in to Hagar. After a while it started to get to her, no matter how enlightened she thought she was. She kept telling herself it was for a greater cause, but I can guess that something changed in the relationship with her and Hagar as well. Hagar probably started acting less like a slave girl and more like an entitled family member. She probably started using more familiar language with Sarah, and Sarah began to get insecure and jealous.
“Who does this girl think she is? Abraham is my husband! She needs to remember her place!”
When Hagar found out she was pregnant, Sarah may have thought to herself, “I should be happy, but I am not. I am angry that this woman is stealing what should be mine! I hate her!”
These are not the feelings Sarah thought she would have when she laid out the scheme to do God’s job for Him, but that is the problem. We are far too shortsighted to be the Master Planner.
- Our bad decisions give God a bad name.
After Hagar gave birth to her son, Sarah grew jealous and began to treat her badly. I wonder how Hagar saw Sarah’s God then? After all, Sarah must have talked about the Almighty as loving and caring, one who protects and provides for those who follow Him. Yet, here was Sarah treating Hagar with disdain and dislike. People often determine the character of God based on how we His followers treat them.
One of my closest friends had a sign in her kitchen that read, “If mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy!” Those words are true, and Abraham found that out. Sarah demanded that Hagar and Ishmael be sent away because she did not want “that woman” and “that boy” around her precious Isaac. She made life difficult for Abraham. Finally, he reluctantly gave in and sent Hagar and Ishmael away. The crazy thing is that God agreed with Sarah’s conclusion (maybe not her actions) and told Abraham to send them away. Let’s speculate a bit with some understanding of human nature.
Abraham, distressed about having to send Ishmael away, had a conversation with him:
“Son, I really don’t want to do this, but you know Sarah. She is going to make life difficult for me. The truth is I would put up with her, but God told me to send you away, so I must do it.”
What do you think Hagar’s and Ishmael’s impression of God was? I would think that they would believe He did not care about them. They would see Him as mean and vengeful, unkind and manipulative.
Thirty years have passed since that word God gave me regarding my destiny. I have made many of the mistakes that Abraham made, but here is the good news: God’s promises to us are ironclad. He will do what He says He will do. So in the waiting, trust that He will accomplish what He said He will do. Resist the doubt the enemy stirs up that causes us to want to run ahead or give up completely. Abraham may have doubted and made a few missteps along the way, but thankfully he corrected his course, and God was faithful to fulfill His word.
About the Author
Gary Khan served as pastor of Desert Streams Church of the Open Bible in Santa Clarita, California, for 32 years. He currently serves as the Executive Director of Operations for Marketplace Chaplains in Southern California. He also serves on Open Bible’s National Board of Directors and as district director for the Southern California/Arizona/Hawaii district. Gary is author of the devotionals Greater and Reset as well as his soon-to-be-published book, That Didn’t Go the Way I Thought: Navigating the Ups and Downs of Our Journey of Faith. Gary’s greatest achievement and joy is that of being husband to DeLaine for the past 32 years and father of three amazing kids (two biological and one “adopted”).
Living and serving in a foreign land involves adjusting to new cultures, languages, and realities. Over my thirty years as a missionary, I’ve faced these challenges in multiple countries and languages. Yet, none of my experiences could have prepared me for the realities of war—its impact on life, ministry, and faith.
I had lived in Ukraine full time for thirteen years when the initial invasion occurred in 2014. The conflict was terrifying but distant from me; over time, I learned to navigate the stress of the threat of violence and the uncertainty that seemed to linger everywhere. But everything changed on February 23, 2022, with the full-scale invasion. Ukraine entered a dark chapter with an unknowable future, and so did I.
… everything changed on February 23, 2022, with the full-scale invasion. Ukraine entered a dark chapter with an unknowable future, and so did I
I spent the first few months of war in the United States. While physically “safe,” my heart remained with Ukraine. I wanted to be with the INSTE community, neighbors, and other loved ones who had become my family, not just because of my love and concern for them but because there is power in presence; there is a powerful ministry of simply being with others in their suffering. Just as God promises in Psalm 91:15 (NIV), “I will be with him in trouble,” I felt compelled to personify that presence for Ukrainians.
Returning to Ukraine in October 2022 meant facing new unsettling realities. Air raid sirens, missile strikes, and weaponized drones are part of daily life. Psalm 91:5 promises, “You will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day,” yet living this truth is challenging. In 2024, attack drones or missiles filled Ukrainian skies every single day and night. Fear is a natural response to danger, yet courage is trusting God despite fear. For me, each step forward, even with a lump in my throat, is an act of faith.
Psalm 91’s promise that God is “with us in trouble” anchors me, helping reconcile the tension between “not fearing” and “doing things afraid.” Fear doesn’t disqualify us from obedience; it’s often the very place where we find God’s will and experience His presence in profound ways.
My main ministry has always been equipping leaders through INSTE Global Bible College, but my focus has shifted during the war. In this season the Lord has allowed me to minister to humanitarian needs of Ukrainians with the help of Open Bible sponsors and a wide network of friends and ministry partners. For independent teen orphans, we’ve provided power banks and lamps for long nights without electricity.
Other times, we’ve purchased medicine for sick neighbors and helped seniors pay for medical procedures. For those along the frontlines, we’ve sent financial aid, clothing, and prayers. We have also translated, printed, and distributed thousands of booklets that teach how to deal with PTSD.
While others deliver large-scale humanitarian aid, my role is one of smaller, personal acts of kindness. In the market, I look for “Holy Spirit nudges” and find struggling grandmothers to bless with money for food, blessing them and reminding them that God sees their need. Each of these actions, though small, serves as a tangible reminder of God’s love and light in dark times.
The human cost of war is staggering. Food insecurity, disrupted education systems, and loss of electricity are all daily problems. Families have been displaced and torn apart, some with children attending school in other countries, others with family members on the frontlines, missing in action, prisoners of war, or buried in a grave. Communities have been shattered and the trajectory of so many lives forever altered. Over the years we have had thousands of INSTE students throughout Ukraine; many of their lives have been dramatically changed by this war.
I witness incredible resilience in the defenders who are outnumbered and outgunned on the front lines, the mothers holding families together, and the children navigating unimaginable loss
Despite this, I witness incredible resilience in the defenders who are outnumbered and outgunned on the front lines, the mothers holding families together, and the children navigating unimaginable loss, including a normal childhood. Their resilience reflects the truth that God has not abandoned them. In their stories, I see glimmers of hope – reminders that even in the darkest times, Light shines. Their resilience inspires me.
It has been difficult to deal with the capture of my godson, Max, a nineteen-year-old soldier, by enemy forces. The pain of not knowing his fate is immense. We pray for his soul. Every Ukrainian has their “Max,” someone whose unknown future brings unbearable heartache.
As I reflect on these years of war, I’m reminded of how deeply it has reshaped my life, my understanding of compassion, and my faith. War has tested me in ways I never expected, but it has also deepened my faith.
Psalm 91 continues to be a comfort: not a promise of an easy way, but of God’s presence. It is in His refuge that I find strength to minister and to believe for His promises. And it is there, even in wartime, that I have found God’s refuge.
About the Author
Tammy Swailes
Tammy Swailes is passionate about cross-cultural Christian education, so working with INSTE Bible College to disciple and equip leaders throughout Europe and beyond is a great fit! Tammy has lived in Europe since 1999 – first in Hungary and now Ukraine. Before that, she was in Japan, as well as Spokane, Washington. She now serves as INSTE regional director in Europe, assisting INSTE programs in five languages. Tammy has her undergraduate degrees in both Missions and Christian Education, and a MA in Intercultural Studies. Photography, good coffee, multi-cultural experiences, and the family’s Yorkie are some of Tammy’s favorite things.
The diaspora of the Tai Dam refugees in 1975 to Des Moines, Iowa, fueled a first generation of Tai Dam Americans adapting to new ways of life, blending language, culture, and embracing the numerous opportunities in the US. I was part of that first generation. Three years after my parents’ settlement in Iowa, I was born and became the first in my family to acquire an American education and step into a church. We were blessed to have Christian sponsors who helped us transition from our homeland to America.
Every Sunday, our sponsors would take me, my sister, and several of my cousins to church service at the First Church of the Open Bible. Naomi Young was one of the many people who was significant in my life; she gave me my first Bible. Through the faithfulness of Naomi and others at the church, seeds of faith were planted as I was told about a man named Jesus who died on the cross for me. I was curious, but I did not understand and did not accept Him into my life at that time. Attending church was short-lived, coming to a halt when I was eight years old. The seed that was planted in me could not grow because it was never nourished with Truth at home. My parents and grandmother believed and practiced animism and ancestral worship, which is the veneration and honoring of the dead. Confusion infiltrated my mind, and my desire to attend church ceased. While I abandoned everything that was taught to me in Sunday school, I always kept my Bible in a special place underneath my pillow because something in my heart could not throw it away.
The seed that was planted in me could not grow because it was never nourished with Truth at home.
When I was twenty-two years old, my cousin took me to a Buddhist temple to have my fortune read. There, sitting in front of me, were three monks. One monk opened his notebook, wrote in it, then read to me my childhood, present life, and future life story up to the time I would turn thirty years old. He then shut his notebook and told me, “I am done.” When I asked him, “Why?” he told me only, “I cannot read you anymore.” That same week I went to a card reader and had my fortune read. Again, he read my childhood, present life, and up to the age I would be thirty, then stopped. I told him, “You are the second person that could not read me past thirty; tell me – do I die?” He quickly gathered his cards, saying only, “I cannot tell you.”
Throughout my adult life in my twenties, I was in an unhealthy, abusive relationship, which led to an alcohol addiction. When I was twenty-six, I became pregnant and had my daughter, Kaylee, on January 31, 2005. God was already working in my life, and I did not know it; He was molding me and reminding me of who He was through the darkest moments of my life. Around that time, I came upon a childhood friend who worked as a cashier at Hy-Vee; she would tell me, “Soukham, God is so good.” Though I resisted, the words she spoke over me resonated in my heart. Not long after, I found myself attending her funeral. Worship and praise were included in the Christian service. I was confused, but a part of me had the desire to know more about the God they said was so good and how through Him there would be no more pain and suffering. When I left the funeral, the Lord continued to reveal Himself to me through divine encounters. In July of 2008, I took a position at Nationwide Insurance where I reconnected with an old high school friend. She invited me to a Thanksgiving potluck at her church, and my walk with the Lord began soon after.
From the Tai Dam little girl who was born in America and met Jesus in an Iowan church, to the woman who is now taking the hope of Christ back to Southeast Asia, His hand has been in every chapter of my story.
I was thirty years old when I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior. The verse that will remain with me forever is 2 Corinthians 5:17: “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!” (NIV).
Now I understand why the monk and card reader could not read my life past the age of thirty. At that age, I became a new creation because of Jesus Christ, and the enemy no longer had a hold on me! Jesus continued to bless me and my daughter. Amid my pain and struggles, God brought a man into my life, my husband Othone (Pong), who became a father to Kaylee. We got married on September 15, 2010. Together the Lord blessed us with two more children, Isaac and Silas. In 2017, the Lord called us to serve in Iowa at Kingdom Life Church (now Kingdom City Church).
In November 2021, the Lord instilled in Pong’s heart a dream to build a charitable foundation to address needs in the vulnerable communities of Southeast Asia. The foundation would have a Christ-centered vision: to make and equip future disciples, providing them with sustainable resources and empowering them to advance beyond their current situation. Through continuous prayer and the Lord’s guidance, the foundation was born in April 2023 and officially named Nations in Need (NIN). Recently in 2023 and 2024, the Lord took Pong, Kaylee, and three of our brothers, Ap, Peng, and Bay, on trips to Southeast Asia where they built relationships, served the communities, ministered to the people, and spread the good news about Jesus Christ. Today, NIN has branched into multiple communities in Southeast Asia. Through the work of a future center in Southeast Asia, we will expand NIN’s mission and go wherever the Lord leads.
Throughout my whole life God has carried me, even when I didn’t know it. From the Tai Dam little girl who was born in America and met Jesus in an Iowan church, to the woman who is now taking the hope of Christ back to Southeast Asia, His hand has been in every chapter of my story. Whether the next chapter is in America, Southeast Asia, or somewhere else, I will follow Christ, forever His new creation.
About the Author
Soukham Khanthavixay
Soukham Khanthavixay and her husband, Pong, are active members of Kingdom City Church in Des Moines, Iowa. They reside in Pleasant Hill, Iowa, with their three children and two dogs. Soukham is a registered nurse at a local county hospital and also works for Nations in Need (NIN), the ministry her husband founded. Her family and ministry team work together to expand the mission of NIN and spread the gospel. To learn more about Nations in Need, follow them on Facebook or Instagram: @nationsinneed.
Spirit and Truth Church began as a dream amidst the stormy backdrop of January 2021, during the COVID-19 pandemic. Despite the challenges that the world faced, we found ourselves thriving, anchored by the belief that God’s plans always prevail. As we say on our website, we are passionate about helping people “find freedom in the fullness” of both the Spirit and the Word. This foundational vision has carried us through times of uncertainty and propelled us forward.
Yet, for all our successes, we reached a point where we felt like we were on an island—thriving, yes, but lacking the covering, coaching, counsel, and care that every church needs to flourish long term. In 2022, at the first MOVEMENT conference, God spoke directly to my heart, telling me that Spirit and Truth Church was meant to be part of the Open Bible Church family. This call was a turning point for our ministry. In 2023, I was credentialed through Open Bible Churches, and in February of this year (2024), we became officially affiliated with Open Bible Churches’ Mountain Plains region. Since then, the blessings have been immense.
For all our successes, we reached a point where we felt like we were on an island.
Being part of Open Bible has been transformative for us. We have received so much investment, training, and support. Open Bible has helped us shore up essential aspects of our ministry: leadership, organization, staffing, budget, facilities, and more. Our growth has been remarkable—we’ve doubled in size, growing from 60 to 120 regular attendees in the past year. This growth, I believe, is a testament to both the godly covering of Open Bible and the Spirit-led outreaches we engage in. Our church has a culture of lifestyle evangelism and hospitality where all our members are witnesses and welcomers. In addition, we have forged strategic partnerships with other ministries.
One of the most exciting partnerships we have is with Every Heart Tours, a ministry led by fiery, Jesus-loving college students from Michigan. These students come to stay with us for a week at a time, engaging in outdoor worship outreaches and “prophetic treasure hunts.” If you’re unfamiliar with this term, a prophetic treasure hunt is an evangelistic practice where participants ask the Holy Spirit to reveal specific details about people they will meet, and then they go into the community to find these “treasures.” It’s a beautiful, Spirit-led adventure allowing us to partner with God and minister to people in our city in a unique way. We’ve seen so many lives touched and transformed through these treasure hunts.
What started as a small church plant in Northern Colorado has since grown into a vibrant community reflecting the heart of God for His people.
One of the most powerful testimonies from these outreaches happened this summer (2024). We had a team of prophetic ministers giving specific words to people as we worshipped in Fort Collins Old Town square. We preached the gospel boldly, and by the end of the night eleven people made the decision to be baptized! We walked down to the Poudre River and witnessed the supernatural power of God as they went under the water and came up renewed. It was a moment that felt like the early church, where “the Lord added to their number daily” (Acts 2:47 NIV).
Of course, ministry isn’t always easy. We’ve faced rejection and opposition. But we hold firm to the truth of Romans 1:16: “For I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God that brings salvation to everyone who believes.” The harvest is plentiful, and we’ve seen this reality unfold before our eyes. As we continue to partner with ministries, step out in faith, and preach the gospel, we trust that God will continue to bring more people into His kingdom.
Our journey with Open Bible has been a testimony to God’s faithfulness. What started as a small church plant in Northern Colorado has since grown into a vibrant community reflecting the heart of God for His people. We remain committed to spreading the good news and making sure outreach and evangelism are at the heart of our ministry. The harvest is ready, Open Bible fam – let’s go bring it in!
About the Author
Rob Bray
Rob Bray is a marketplace and ministry leader with over a decade of experience in both business and church contexts. He is the founder and lead pastor of Spirit + Truth Church, an Open Bible Church in the Mountain Plains Region. Rob has catalyzed successful companies, grown healthy ministries, and spoken at influential conferences, workshops, and events. Rob’s expertise and passion have made him a trusted advisor and coach for leaders and entrepreneurs seeking breakthroughs in multiple areas including life, marriage, and business. Rob and his wife Bethany live on their homestead in Fort Collins, CO, with their six children: Nehemiah, Nora, Noelle, Neely, Nayla, and Nicholas. In their spare time, they enjoy hiking, paddle boarding, and snowboarding.
